What a week! The enemy was working overtime on me. Is warfare really necessary for such a small gathering? Sigh.
After my tantrum on Sunday, I finally got the message I needed to hear from the Lord.
"Remember Psalm 23?!?! I have been repeating it for months now. MONTHS!! The message is for YOU and it is time you get it. REALLY get it!"
So last night was for me. It was an opportunity to come full circle in all God has been doing regarding our possible move and the restructuring of our family. Somehow I wasn't getting the fact that my thorn of submission was really about surrendering to the Lord as my Shepherd. Always demanding my own way over His. I am a sheep who is defenseless, unaware of my own needs, easily frightened, prone to wander, and often distracted by pests/parasites. But I can find complete peace and rest no matter the circumstances because I have a Good Shepherd who knows me by name. In fact, I can lie down anywhere without a care in the world just waiting to hear my shepherd's voice calling me to follow Him. And because I KNOW he is Good I don't even need to ask why or where. He will provide my physical needs. He will fight off predators. He will anoint my head with oil. God created me to need a shepherd. I have chosen though to be consumed by the things of this world which prevented me from hearing the Shepherd's voice-- cares that he has told me he will carry for me-- just so I could feel in control. How peaceful life can be knowing I am incapable and he is more than enough!
May his will be done. May I completely surrender to his purpose for my life. May I know real peace and rest as I trust God with everything and in everything. The Lord IS my Good Shepherd.
Thank you for the prayers. I felt them. The talk went well and I was blessed to realize and share all God has done in this small life-changing chapter during the last few months.