Wednesday, November 28, 2012


I reached for a stack of tissues from the box on the kitchen counter to put in the clutch she made for me that matches my turquoise cardigan perfectly.  I gripped her work of art tightly as if sending her hugs across the miles.  Some Sundays you just know you will need a tissue. 

I got the kids dropped off to their classes while I took my seat alone not in our usual place.  My Love was out of town.  The music was already playing.  I took off my coat and laid it down in the open seat beside me.  It was cold outside but unusually warm in this moment and I pushed open my clutch --this beautiful gift from my friend-- to pull out a tissue prematurely.  Some Sundays you just know you are going to cry. 

How could I not?  The heart that stitched together the holder of my tissues (and lip gloss and wallet and keys) was now shattered in the hands of her Almighty Creator and Lord.  I sang to Him.  I worshiped Him.  I cried before Him not asking why but begging Him to hold the torn pieces of her heart with gentle care.  To stitch them back together in such a way that would make it even more beautiful in order to hold all the wonderful things He has planned for her.

Clutch her tight tonight Lord.  Whisper to her how much she is loved by You.  Fill her with your strength and peace and hope.

Saturday, November 24, 2012


I think my heart actually exploded tonight. 

I sense some internal bleeding that will likely leave some permanent scar tissue. 

It has been quite some time since I have spent a day praying like that.  Since crying like that.  The pain and sorrow being experienced tonight by two dear friends of mine seems unbearable.  They are devastated beyond words.  They are tired.  So I pray and I cry some more because my heart is already broken for them.  There is however comfort in knowing and believing that "those who sow in tears will reap in shouts of joy" but LORD please bring that day soon.  All glory honor power is Yours forever Amen.

Saturday, November 3, 2012

miracle moment

What a day!  

This day will go down as one of the best days of my life.  And I have lived some pretty awesome days.  

There were undoubtedly gifts along the way of what started as a normal Saturday.  Like when I had to get up at 4:30am and change my daughter's wet sheets.  That was nice.  Most of the day was spent enjoying friends here for lunch.  Such a sweet time.  But the day took a drastic turn into the "one of the best days ever" category when God saw fit to answer YEARS of prayer in a miracle MOMENT.  

Galatians 6:2 commands us to carry one another's burdens and really I can't think of many things in this life on earth that are more fulfilling and rewarding.  We have had the privilege of praying for many people as God has walked them through trials and periods of waitingBy lifting their burdens to the Lord, we became part of the journey in trusting God right along with them.  God saw fit to answer in his timing (we heard the news today), and we were blessed beyond measure to bear witness to his perfect miracle.  We rejoice today with dear loved ones at a long waited answer to faithful prayer.  "All glory honor power is Yours forever Amen."   

Thursday, November 1, 2012

wounds and kisses

It was some time this summer when a dear friend first shared these words with me from Proverbs 27:6.

NLT Wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy.

NKJV Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.

NIV Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.

HCSB The wounds of a friend are trustworthy, but the kisses of an enemy are excessive.

I was surprised by it at first because she spoke these words of scripture to me over the phone after I apologized for something I had done in our relationship.  Something that I felt fully justified in doing and saying in the moment because of how hurt I felt by her, but the next day in the light of Christ had realized my sin and wanted to desperately make it right with her.  I couldn't sleep and felt sick over it as I had feared that how I reacted might have destroyed our friendship.  

I finally got a call back after leaving a message on her voicemail that said something like, "I don't want another day to end before I get a chance to talk to you."  Perhaps this boiling point in our friendship was bound to happen.  Some relationships are just more volatile.  But the truth is I don't think I had ever been met with so much grace in forgiveness within another relationship on earth.  She could hear my heart as I repented and knew our connection in Christ was far deeper than some petty argument.  She of course apologized too.  Oh how thankful I have been for that day even though initially it caused me so much pain.  

You see, ever since then God has repeatedly brought this passage from His Word to my eyes and ears.  Today marked the 10th time in less than three months that someone else causally mentioned Proverbs 27:6.  Most didn't know where it was found in the Bible and couldn't recall the exact wording but each understood the meaning.  People will hurt you.  Friends will hurt you.  Family will hurt you.  But it is far better to be wounded, hurt, disappointed by a fellow heir of our Heavenly Father than to lavish in the excessive deceitful kisses of an "enemy".  Our very real Enemy would like nothing more than to divide Christian relationships.  Disagreements brew among believers and we have this "how dare they do that to me" feeling in the back our throats so we spew back.  But really we should expect that heart ache and division on earth.  No one can ever meet all of your needs on earth.  Not your spouse.  Not your best friend.  Not your child.  Not your parent.  They will fail.  They will hurt you.  But when our eyes are fully opened to how often we offend God and yet he still loves and forgives us, we can truly love and forgive others.

Proverbs uses the word 'wound' for a reason.  There will be pain, but we don't have to let the hurt rule over us.  We can let God heal the relationship in a way that kisses never can