Monday, April 30, 2012

not denial

"Leave Me out of nothing.  Love all My ways with you.  Know indeed that "All is well."  Delay is but the wonderful and all-loving restraint of the Father--not reluctance, not desire to deny--but the Divine control of a Father who can scarcely brook the delay.  Delay has to be--sometimes.  Your lives are so linked up with those of others, so bound by circumstances that to let your desire have instant fulfillment might in many cases cause another, as earnest prayer, to go unanswered.  But think for a moment of the Love and thoughtful care that seek to harmonize and reconcile all your desires and longings and prayers.  Delay is not denial--not even withholding.  It is the opportunity for God to work out your problems and accomplish your desires in the most wonderful way possible for you.  Oh! children, trust Me.  Remember that your Maker is also your Servant, quick to fulfill, quick to achieve, faithful in accomplishment.  Yes.  All is well." 

-God Calling

This reading in my devotional journal really spoke to me today even though it was meant for tomorrow.  It is a strange place to be knowing we could have a child placed in our home for any length of time as soon as next week but also know it could be months before we get a call.  We have to trust in His timing.  His perfect timing that is intimately woven together with the life another child.  So we will wait on Him and trust with ready hearts that his plan is complete.  After I thought about myself a little more I realized that these words could also encourage others that we pray for who are waiting on adoption, waiting to find a spouse, waiting to be placed in the mission field, waiting for a loved one to surrender their life to the Lord, waiting to find their place in this world, waiting to conceive a child, waiting for direction, waiting for answers, waiting for forgiveness, waiting for love...

Delay is not denial, people.

Friday, April 27, 2012

not thinking

It dawned on me today that I haven't spent much time thinking about foster care the last 2 1/2 weeks.  Other than the two books I brought to read on our trip and the devotional references daily that often bring my heart back to what is ahead in our next chapter, I haven't been in deep contemplation about the changes for our family on the horizon.  Once I realized that fact I started feeling guilty about it.  Perhaps this was part of God's plan for this time though.  To physically remove our family from the place where we have spent so much time thinking about and praying for what comes next.  My mind has been lost in the presence of loved ones and maybe that is exactly what He wants my heart focused on right now.  We are ready.  We are waiting.  We are trusting that His timing and placement will be perfect.  But for now we aren't spending too much time thinking about it.  Right now we are resting and feeling the love of family and friends so we that may get filled up for the journey ahead of us.

Saturday, April 21, 2012

life can never be the same

"You need Me.  I need you.  My broken world needs you.  Many weary troubled heart needs you.  Many a troubled heart will be gladdened by you, drawn nearer to Me by you both.  Health--Peace--Joy--Patience--Endurance, they all come from contact with Me."

"You will conquer.  Do not fear changes.  You can never fear changes when I, your Lord, change not.  Jesus Christ, the same yesterday, today, and forever.  I am beside you.  Steadfastness, unchangingness, come to you, too, as you dwell with Me.  Rest in Me.  As breathing rightly, from being a matter of careful practice, becomes a habit, unconsciously, yet rightly performed, so if you regularly practice this getting back into My Presence, when the slightest feeling of unrest disturbs your perfect calm and harmony, so this, too, will become a habit, and you will grow to live in that perfect consciousness of My Presence, and perfect calm and harmony will be yours.  ... You are asking both of you to be not as hundreds of My followers, nay as many, many thousands, but to be even as those who reflect Me in all they say and do and are.  So, My dear children, take this training, not as harsh, but as the tender loving answer to your petition.  Life can never be the same again for either of you.  Once you have drunk of the wine of My giving, the Life Eternal, all the earth's attempts to quench your thirst will fail."

-God Calling, April 19 &21

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

i shall use it

"Such light, such joy flows from this house.  It affects all who come here.  Do not feel that you have to try and help them.  Just love them, welcome them, shower little courtesies and love-signs on them, and they must be helped.  Love is God.  Give them Love, and you give them God.  Then leave Him to do His Work.  Love all, even the beggars.  Send no one away without a word of cheer, a feeling that you care.  I may have put the impulse to come here into some despairing one's heart.  Think if you failed Me!  Besides, you have no choice.  You told Me it was My Home.  I shall use it.  Remember this.  There would be no dark winter days were Love in the hearts of all My children.  Oh!  My children, can you not feel the joy of knowing, loving, and companying with Me?" -God Calling

I read this entire devotional journal in 2011 and it is like I am reading it the first time.  God continues to confirm the call on our life even when we are distracted by things of this world.  Please keep us in prayer.

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

giving to the LORD

I just finished reading Kisses from Katie.  I cried through the whole last chapter.  I have much to share about what God taught me through the author's words regarding the chapter we are about to begin in the life of our family.  His timing is always perfect.  These verses shared in Katie Davis' book struck me still as one we should put up in our foster child's room.

1 Samuel 1:27-28

27 For this child I prayed, and the Lord has granted me my petition that I made to him. (ESV)  
 28 Now I am giving her/him to the Lord, and s/he will belong to the Lord her/his whole life.” And they[a] worshiped the Lord there. (NLT)


We are praying.  
We are learning how to Love.  
We are eager to be used.

Sunday, April 15, 2012


You all knew I couldn't stay away.  I read this today and felt the need to share (or just remember it for myself).

"Go back into the silence to recover this calm when it is lost even for one moment.  You accomplish more by this than by all the activities of a long day.  At all cost keep calm, you can help nobody when you are agitated.  I, your Lord, see not as man sees." -God Calling

Saturday, April 14, 2012

family time

We are spending the next couple of weeks with family.  It might be awhile before I get the time to post here again.  We appreciate your continued prayers as we prepare for the coming chapter of our lives.

Monday, April 9, 2012

busted heart

You can listen to it here:

Winter has come back again 
Feels like the season won't end 
My faith is dying tonight 
And I won't try to pretend 
I've got it all figured out 
I don't have any doubts 
I've got a busted heart 
I need You now 
Yeah, I need You now 

Hold on to me, hold on to me 
Don't let me lose my way 
Hold on to me 

I am the wandering son 
Your love is never enough 
I keep chasing the wind 
Instead of chasing Your love 
I'm screaming out Your name 
Don't let me fall on my face 
I've got a busted heart 
I'm in need of a change 
I'm desperate for grace 

Hold on to me, take all of me 
Don't let me lose my way 
Hold on to me  

Broke Your heart a thousand times 
But You've never left my side 
You have always been here for me 

You never let me go 
You never let me go 
Don't ever let me go 

I loved this verse that popped up briefly in the video.

Deuteronomy 31:8 NLT

Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord will personally go ahead of you. He will be with you; he will neither fail you nor abandon you.”

Sunday, April 8, 2012

class seven: special ed

After a week with no computer charger (which included a husband out of town for the weekend), I am surprised I didn't jump at the chance to verbally vomit on you all.  Is it still considered verbal if you are reading my typed words?  In any case I haven't felt inspired about anything in particular.  There has been a lot on my mind and the daily life sure keeps me from sitting still for too long.  

At first I was regretting the Easter candy we gave to the kids to eat at lunch time because they BOTH refused to nap.  That didn't prevent me from writing two long emails while I pretended they were still sleeping in their rooms.  But since they were over tired after dinner, they both willingly went to bed minutes before 7pm.  No comment on whether that choice is going to come back to bite me.  Like at 6am tomorrow.  But now I have a little bit more of the night.  My Love is reading a book on the couch adjacent to me and I am nestled in my green chair with feet propped on the ottoman and a fully charged computer battery.  Get comfy, people.  This is going to be a whole lot of something.   

Where was I?  Oh yes, class seven for our foster parent training.  I get confused sometimes because they want us to be called resource parents now but have never called the children in our care resource child.  That just sounds silly anyway.  They want to be rid of the word foster because its negative connotation.  Not sure changing the label is going to make the situation any more pleasant for the child but I digress.

So class seven was about special needs children.  I never figured out if foster kids are more prone to be in special education or if the training was just to prepare us if we needed to seek out services for the child placed with us but that isn't the point.  We learned a lot about all the special education services out there for every kind of need you could imagine.  There is quite a broad scope and I am thankful we got a glimpse into how the state works to help even foster children get the services they need for a better education.  The presenter covered issues like autism, developmental delays, emotional disability, intellectual disability, learning disability, physical disability, and speech/language impairment among others.  They should probably give this training to all parents with young children.  The sooner they can identify a need that requires services the quicker they can work on meeting that need.  We did some fun activities to help us understand what a person with a special need might be thinking too.  I can honestly say I walked away with a good understanding of how to be the voice for a foster child in our care who might show signs of having a special need.

On another note, during the class the trainer announced that we and one other couple were now approved to be resource parents to six children from 0-18 years old.  Wait...what?  That is right people.  The state says we can have eight children as foster parents.  And since we already have two (they didn't count our furry firstborn apparently) we can take as many as six more.  God must have a sense of humor if he thinks we are setting up dorms of bunkbeds in the basement.  I guess anything is possible.  We were thrilled to learn that our home study was a success and all our other paperwork and references came through.  The trainer even went out of her way to speak to me before the class started to say how much she enjoyed her visit at our home.  God is going to do big things people and it might blow our socks off.

We did a little something special for my friend and babysitter on her last night watching the kids this past Tuesday.  She is off RVing (apparently not a word?) with her family up to New York City for Spring Break.  Lucky.  I remember the first time we went out to lunch together and I asked her if she would join us on this journey.  That meal was covered in prayer by a few good friends.  Eight weeks seemed like a big commitment to ask of a married mother of two (in middle school and high school).  There were some snags along the way.  Allergies, colds, and vomit (which I canceled so she wouldn't get our germs).  And then there was the time her son sliced his hand with an exact-o knife and she was at the ER pretty much up until she came to tuck my kiddos into bed.  The enemy has tried hard to prevent her from being here but we have been praying through this whole process for her.  She was faithful to show up with her daughter every time and were so blessed by that.  She jokes that she will just have to come over and put them to bed every once in awhile so she can get her little kid fix.  By all means come on down.  It is amazing how quickly eight weeks just flew by.  This is not the end of our interactions with my friend.  I am excited to see what God does in our relationship. 

We have one more week of training left.  Thanks for your continued prayers as we come to the end of the chapter of foster parent classes.

That is it for now.



"From the death of My Body on the Cross, as from the shedding of husks in seed-life, springs that New Life which is My Gift to every man who will accept it.  Die with Me to self--to the human life, and then you will know the rapturous Joy of Easter Resurrection.  A Risen Life so glad and free can be yours."  -God Calling

Friday, April 6, 2012

back online

We are up and running again.  The power cord arrived yesterday and I have lots to write about.  We are visiting with a friend today and putting some focus on this very Good Friday at school this morning.  Perhaps I will have time this evening to share about our foster training this week and what else God has been doing around here.  I bet a few people would appreciate my replies to emails too.  It is a beautiful day.  I hope you are able to make the time to celebrate the greatest sacrifice of LOVE--a literal dying to self--that was ever made for you.  We are overwhelmed by His grace.  God bless your day!

Monday, April 2, 2012

technical difficulties

I would like to write but the charger for our computer died and the screen on my phone cracked. Sigh. Hope to be up and running again in a few days. Keep the prayers coming even if you don't see an update. Tomorrow is our babysitter-friend's last night watching the kids during our training classes. We will miss having her such a regular part of our weekly lives but looking forward to what God has planned for that relationship in the future.