I am sitting here laughing at 11:45pm. The house has long been asleep but my mind is awake seeking, searching, listening. I am laughing because God is truly AMAZING! I don't know why I am surprised anymore. He says he can move mountains (I've SEEN Him do it) and yet I still try to fit him into a box for my own convenience. Why am I even shocked when he does big God-sized things to show me his love?
We are still waiting to hear back from the seller on whether or not they will accept our offer. Because we are in no hurry to move, we can afford to wait. And yet I was anxious all day. Anxious to know. Still trying to control the knowing. When am I really going to get this?
I had a great day with the kids. It was insanely hot here but we made the most of it reading and cleaning and playing indoors after some time in the yard with water this morning. My mind was going nonstop throughout the day. Checking my phone. Calling my Love. Looking for calm in an answer. "Have you heard anything yet?" I text him around lunchtime. Yesterday the sellers of the house we want to buy said they wanted to "sleep on it" and we had been told by our realtor that we would probably hear something by lunchtime.
Lunch came and went. We even ate early. I tried not to think about it but somehow my mind went to paint colors and furniture placement.
Then in the middle of it all I got a bizarre email from what looked like a cell phone number. I cautiously clicked on the link and saw a small photo attached. The body of the email (with no subject title) read, "Praying you will abide in him today friend."
OK. At first I didn't know exactly who it was from and then I saw what looked like a friend's chalkboard bedroom/kitchen door in the picture underneath. I decided it was safe to open.
I knew instantly who it was from and as always it felt like God's truth breathed right into my day. How does he do that? I am constantly overwhelmed by how He uses the body of Christ to bless me. The friend who sent me the email doesn't even live in the same state as I do. The Lord has knit our hearts together the last couple years through prayer and I cherish our friendship dearly.
When I saw the scripture reference on the door in my friend's place in this world, I immediately thought about how my Love and I had just read in John 14 this morning and would probably be gearing up to read John 15:5 tomorrow (2 months behind our One Year Bible reading schedule).
"I am the vine and you are the branches. Whoever abides in me. and I in him, bears much fruit. For apart from me, you can do nothing." -John 15:5
I wasted a whole day thinking about myself, the what-ifs and possibilities and then God said, "Abide in me!" Seriously did I think I was going to get peace from an answer on a house offer? Peace comes from abiding in the One who is already in me. What was I doing? Hadn't I learned anything through this process of trusting the Lord as my Shepherd?
The 9pm "we should know by" deadline came and went. My Love and I looked at each other and admitted we were in no hurry. We have all the time in the world to wait. Not waiting for someone else to decide for us what God has already written, but waiting on the Lord and his perfect timing. There is peace knowing the truth of his Word.
I decided to come back downstairs after going up to bed tonight. I looked up a verse written on the cover of a journal a friend/mentor gave me for my birthday. "The Lord is good to those who wait for Him." -Lamentations 3:25. I've been reading that out loud to myself for a few days now. I started with verse one and read through all of chapter 3. Verse 37 stuck out at me. "Who can command things to happen without the Lord’s permission?" That is right, people. The Lord is in charge around here. Not me. Not a house seller. Everything happens for his good purpose. It is my job to abide in him. When my eyes are on the Lord, the circumstances of life fade away and he is able to bear fruit through my very surrendered life.
Feeling more ready to return to bed (read: peace of mind means peaceful rest for this tired Mama), I decided to pick up my God Calling to get some advance wisdom from tomorrow's reading. And almost as if I knew it was coming, the very first sentence read:
Abide in Me.
I started laughing. I read on.
"A wonderful future is before you both. A future of unlimited power to bless others. Just be channels. Be used. Ask. Ask. "Ask what ye will, and it shall be done unto you," and unto those for whom you pray."
I laughed some more. Not because it was funny, but because it was so amazing! God loves us so much that he is eager to speak to our hearts at every opportunity that we give him. Through prayer. Through the reading of his word. Through fellowship with other believers.
Complete peace tonight. Peace in the unknowns. The letting go of controlling the knowing. Peace in abiding in Christ and trusting that his plan and timing is better than anything I could come up with for myself.
I am off to bed now. Tomorrow I'll be waking up before 6am with my Love. We'll be starting our day praying for our church family and reading a portion of scripture written for May 26th but meant for July 22, 2011. John 15:1-27.
May God bless your day.
Pray. Read. Fellowship. You can not afford not to.