Monday, October 1, 2012

MRI this morning

She left this house with a bright smile at 5:15am.  The hood of her pink light weight jacket hugging her cheeks and just a few tufts of long blond hair were peeking out the front.  She was wearing her hello-kitty back pack full of some of her current prized possessions (to include stuff from goody bags that she brought home from two kiddo birthday parties on our street this weekend) as she walked out the front door to take a ride on this chilly fall morning with Daddy.  I caught a glimpse of her bowed face as he prayed and she held each of our hands next to her.  And her lips.  I watched closely her lips as she articulated each syllable of her night-night song last night while touching her Daddy's face and singing into his eyes.  "We should record her singing that," My Love said as we tucked her in to bed.  Sigh.  The moments are slipping away and yet this day feels divinely planned.  I told him I would probably go back to sleep after seeing them off but who can sleep on a day like this.

My Love is taking Babydoll in for her sedated MRI this morning.  They hope to get a better look inside to see what might be the cause of her seizures.  The appointment is at 7am but they will likely be there most of the day.  "You have to send me regular updates," I make him promise.  But of course I know things get busy while at the hospital and the cell connection might be bad...  So I wait.  Wait to hear how she did and if they would take her at all and what the scan results will show.  I know she is in good hands--the hands of her Maker. 

She is so brave.  I know she will do well because she does (most) all things well.  She is her Daddy's girl to the core and will find great comfort in his arms.  She smiles big as she leaves this morning because she has been promised ice cream on the ride home.  Who wouldn't be excited about the doctor if it came with guaranteed treats?  She is so trusting and unafraid.  I hope she returns home feeling that way.

Babydoll will be sedated for the 45 minute procedure.  They will monitor her for a few hours as she wakes up from it.  I do wish I could be there with her but I know this is the day the Lord has made.  You see, her original appointment was scheduled for last Friday.  My Love's parents were here visiting and had planned on spending their last day in town with Brother so we could could be with Babydoll at her MRI.  Their willingness to help us in this way was such a gift.  We don't live near family.  But Thursday the call came.  A staff member was going home sick and would not be available to do the sedation the following morning.  Surprisingly the news didn't frustrate us (even piled on top of some other disappointing news last week).  The postponed appointment now gave us a full bonus day with the in-laws and also allowed me to make the drive north that night to be present for my good friend's talk about her month spent in Haiti doing missions this summer.  I had so wanted to go but didn't think we could manage after a day spent at the hospital with Babydoll.  After I hung up with the doctor, I couldn't help but think about Proverbs 16:9 (yes I had to look up the actual scripture reference) that reads, "We can make our plans but the Lord determines our steps."  Our original plans were not bad.  But what is often our attitude when He "determines our steps"?  In this particular situation we were thankful and accepting.  That is not always the case (ie. previous disappointments met earlier in the week). 

Unfortunately this change of plans leaves me at home away from her bedside.  But alas I am reminded I am not in control and sometimes it is good for me to literally be out of control.  Brother and I are going to have a fun day here together.  He needs that one on one time.

This morning we pray for the staff that will be present today (that perhaps would not have been scheduled to be there on Friday).  We are asking God for them to be able to complete the procedure (as Babydoll woke with hives yesterday morning and we hope they won't turn her away for the rash she is still sporting this AM).  We pray the results will be clear and definitive and perhaps able to support the thought that they are just febrile seizures and not something more complex.  We lift all of this and more to our listening Lord knowing full well that he will determine our steps today and into her future.  Now if only we could be quick to apply/remember Proverbs 16:9 when thinking about other unknown areas of our lives today...

Thank you for your prayers, friends.  We feel them.  Stay tuned for MRI updates.

No comments: