My Love has been home from work for seven weeks now. Seven. Where has the time gone? I remember feeling panicked thinking (before his leave started) about him lingering around the house messing with our routine while stressing me out. God knew better. He knew that we would need this time to work through some hurts in our relationship and come to a place that was more united than in years past. Things still aren't perfect but our communication and affection for each other have grown. I wish he didn't have to go back to work at all.
Over the past several weeks, My Love has managed to get a lot done around here. He is a to-do list man. If he writes it down it usually gets done right away. This method has its pros and cons. I'll leave it at that. One major pro being that it probably would have taken months to accomplish all the projects he has managed to get done so far. With just around four more weeks left in his terminal leave (*sniff*), I think I can come up with a few more house ideas to keep him busy.
These past several weeks have been a huge gift. We have had constant family time and less day to day stress than usual. What I feared would spin me out of control actually proved to be something sweeter than I could have imagined. God is good.
During this "down" time, My Love has been busy carrying the burden of needing to provide for our family eventually. We trust that God led us down this path to leave active duty, but as his last day draws closer the unknowns of his future are keeping My Love understandably a little shaken.
He had/has a job lined up with the same employer as a civilian. They offered him less money than he was expecting or thought he deserved. They didn't budge during negotiations. During the same week (while family was visiting), My Love learned that the reserves don't have a place for his rank in his current career field. Doh! Oh yeah and the colonel he had asked to do his promotion ceremony got called into another meeting and he had to scramble the day before to set someone else lined up. Breathe, My Love (who doesn't read this blog)! It seemed like several first-world disappointments were piling up on the poor guy who frankly has ALWAYS had things go his way.
Needless to say God is working in a huge way in my husband during this change of seasons. Perhaps for the first time he is leading him by the hand while I follow closely behind. He is seeking to know the big picture as he trusts God to show him which doors he is closing and which are just speed bumps to teach him to trust in Him completely.
Ultimately God knows where he wants My Love to be. It may not look the same way My Love has planned it but that is okay too. Sometimes as Christians we think if we are faithfully praying about something that it will eventually go the way we think it should. We have to remember though that this life is not really about us at all and sometimes doing the hard thing is that which will best bring God glory. And no, I don't think there is anything in the disappointing scenarios above that would even remotely be described as the "hard thing".
Please add My Love to to your laundry list of prayers for my family. Making life changing decisions for your family can be draining. Many thanks.