God has been working here people. He has been busy peeling back each anxious layer of this experience and refusing to allow me to go there. I would never describe myself as an anxious person before but being out of control is kind of a new thing for me.
We are preparing to go on vacation soon. I fought the timing at first but am now excited about the excuse to get away. The kids really need it and God is showing me that even though I didn't want it, I need it too. Rest was the theme for my devotions entitled Come and Stay in God Calling on September 25th:
"Yes, come for rest. But stay for rest, too. Stop all feverish haste and be calm and untroubled. Come unto Me, not only for petitions to be granted but for nearness to Me. Be sure of My Help, be conscious of My Presence, and wait until My Rest fills your soul. Rest knows no fear. Rest knows no want. Rest is strong, sure. The rest of the soft glades and peacefully flowing rivers, of strong, immovable hills. Rest, and all you need to gain this rest is to come to Me. So come. "Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28"
OK Lord. I'll go. Rest.
God has also been busy using these last two months to show us more specifically what he is calling us to do in the next chapter of our lives. My Love and I are excited about all God is preparing and getting on the same page has been helpful.
On another note, I know I mentioned about a month ago that I was anxious about keeping the house presentable for potential renters. This idea does not come naturally to me--keeping the house clean. But with 75% of our belongings boxed up, clutter is at a minimum and I have rather enjoyed having a reason to make beds and pick up bathrooms before leaving the house each day. Who knew? Maintaining is easier that the occasional all day deep clean before guests come. So something that I thought was going to be stressful has actually turned into a good lesson in keeping my house. Having a house guest around has been a good motivator too. My biggest take away has been that if we want our (future new) house to be 100% available to God to be used 100% of the time I kind of have to keep it a little more presentable. God is growing a desire in me to want to do that and I am thankful.
Back to God's plan for us next... It seemed pretty clear when I read Serve All in God Calling on September 26th.
"Yes! remember to serve all. Be ready to prove your Sonship by service. Look on all you meet as guests in you Father's House, to be treated with Love, with all consideration, with gentleness. As a servant of all think no work beneath you. Be ever ready to do all you can for others. Serve. Serve. Serve. There is a gladness in service, a Joy in doing My Will for others, in being My expression of all good for them. Remember that, when you serve others, you are acting for your Master and Lord who washed His disciples' feet. So, in service for others, express your Love for Me."
That reading was the perfect repetition to our Home Fellowship lesson the night before from Matthew 6:1-4. This next season will not be about us. God wants to use us to bless others so He can get the glory. Pray for us. Being 100% available means learning to trust God to provide 100% of the resources necessary to meet the needs of others. We are learning to pray very specifically.
Generally about this time before a move I scurry about trying to connect with everyone we know and love one more time. Dinner plans here. Play dates there. God has pretty much completely prevented that from happening with anyone. Life is going on like normal as if we aren't moving in three weeks at all. I have struggled some with feeling sad that others aren't trying to reach out to us and then at the same time trusting that God DOES NOT want us to participate in long drawn out goodbyes. We aren't really leaving. I mean, yes we are moving out of this house, this neighborhood and will be finding a new church fellowship, but our relationships here will be maintained. We will be at church here for one more official Sunday while living here, but it is by no means goodbye. God is not removing us from our existing friendships in this area. He is just relocating us an hour south (in no traffic). In some ways, I think we will see certain friends more often. Pray for us. Brother's Sunday School Teaching Assistant almost broke into tears when she realized a couple days ago that we were leaving so soon. Even though I know it is not goodbye, I will probably be emotional as we close the door here. I am thankful that God has big plans for our future and that by his grace he is leaving the door we are walking through slightly ajar.
Just a few more days and we will be taking off for some much needed time away with family. The Wups is staying with the same family of 14 that he was with last summer when we visited the west coast. I think he needs a vacation too. Lots of hands over there to love on him. Not likely he will be getting rest though ;) which is fine because he sleeps enough all ready. What he needs right now is extra love. God is good. My Love's parents haven't seen the kids in over a year. It has been far too long. And to my surprise, there are no plans being made for our time together. Rest. Yes. That sounds good right about now. Thanks for the prayers. We feel them.