Sunday, June 19, 2011

knuckes white, fingers peeled back

Today I am thankful for a lone Scrabble tile.  The one accidentally left out here while played with during our June Home Fellowship on Friday night.  The single tile that Babydoll later found and carried with her in one hand as she crawled around the house--still not walking.  

A treasure all her own.  

Once I discovered she had the tile in her grasp, I tried to retrieve it from her.  She instinctively clinched her fist.  Knuckles white.  Holding on with all her will to prevent me from taking it from her.  It made her happy.  She found it.  It was all hers.

I am thankful that I am stronger than my one year old daughter.  That even though I had to peel back one finger at a time, I was successful to take the tile from her.  Not because I wanted to be mean and prevent her from having fun.  But because I knew that if I let her keep holding the tile she would probably put it in her mouth and choke on it.

After I had the tile out of her reach, she immediately laid herself out and kicked and screamed.  She was sad.  She wanted the tile.  She tried her hardest to keep it.  But ultimately I was stronger.  She gave up.  After a good pout, she picked herself up and moved forward with her life.

Today I am thankful that the Lord is stronger than me.  That even though I see him coming and I think I trust him, I still clinch tight, knuckles white, not wanting him to take from me what I think brings me happiness.

I am thankful for the terrible funk I was in this morning.  I am thankful that he patiently peeled back each finger I held so tight.  I am thankful for the "kicking, screaming" fit I had so he could lay me out flat. 

I am thankful for the hard tears that fell in the second row of church today.  I am thankful for a message from my Father that was prepared exactly for me to hear on this day during this moment of my life.  

I am thankful that he doesn't let me remain in human-minded happiness as I treasure the things of the earth.  That he lifts my hands up for me with my palms open, letting him use what I have how he wills.  That he sees what I don't see and faithfully rips it from my hand if need be.  He loves me so much!  For the joy and pleasure that comes with the letting go (sometimes after a good screaming fit) overflows to overwhelming.

Thank the Father.

Happy Father's Day!

1 comment:

Chanel said...

I needed this. Thank you.