I spent 30 minutes walking around Costco today the other day. The kids and I browsed the toy aisles for fun and brought home a few food staples. In that amount of time three separate people decided it was their responsibility to parent me.
The first lady came up behind me to tell me my "pocketbook" was just sitting there (in an empty cart) and anyone could just take it (while I stood five feet away helping Brother hop on a big boy bike with training wheels that he doesn't know he is getting for his 4th birthday). I just smiled and reached for my cart. It kind of annoyed me though. I immediately wondered if the world thinks living a life without constant fear equals naivete. I am thankful I didn't say anything but then of course later regretted that positive words didn't come to my mind quicker as another opportunity slipped through my fingers. I guess I was more interested in engaging with my kids than who might hypothetically take my purse. If someone wanted to take it from my cart while I stood five feet away maybe they needed it more than I do. Note: I don't want my purse stolen.
As we were leaving, the lady checking our receipt drew Bundle Boy a smiley face on the back and asked him, "What do you say?"immediately after handing it to him. Thanks lady but I think I can handle encouraging good manners.
We weren't twenty feet out the door (still in the breeze way) and a guy coming in looked around with a panic before asking me, "Does she belong to you?" Babydoll was walking as fast as she could ten feet behind her brother and me.
On our way through the parking lot (note: I was holding Sissy Doll now and had Brother in my hand walking next to me), I got to thinking. I am used to a way of life where everyone is independent of each other. If you don't look me in the eye while running me off the road than I don't exist in YOUR world. My first response to someone engaging me was cynicism. "Who do they think they are? Where is all this advice when my kids are acting crazy in the grocery store and I really need help?"
The people are so different here than anywhere I have ever lived. They are simple and kind and aware of the people around them. As a child of God, why am I not doing the same? Don't get me wrong. I have done my share of blocking a random toddler who was trying to exit Chick-fil-A without a parent as I was coming in. I am not completely self-absorbed. But am I really aware of the people God has put in my day today? Am I thinking about how I can help them even if I have my hands full of kids and am thinking about disappointing circumstances?
My sentiments were confirmed while at Chick-fil-A later (note: a different time than I referenced before. I promise we don't go there that often. Although as we were leaving this particular visit I ran into someone we knew while in California, who visited us at the hospital when Brother was born, and now happens to live in our neighborhood here. More on that later.). My kids were a few feet away admiring the in-store Christmas tree while I placed our order. Wow! As I type this it sure sounds like I don't have control of my hoodlums. I am just not the type of Mom that has them chained to my waist. They are always nearby though. Anyway Babydoll tripped on a strand of lights, catching her fall, and the woman behind me in line lunged forward to see if she was okay. Seriously people?! Where we used to live the whole restaurant would have just stared blankly holding their place in line even if she had busted her lip wide open and was bleeding all over the place.
How easily we let the world around us affect us! We should look different from the norm. Whether we live in the country or the city. We have been inadvertently taught that we should mind our own business or that someone else will come around and help them. It is not our responsibility to get involved.
The woman in Costco would probably have felt terrible had she seen me later frantically looking for my stolen purse. She meant well. Are we equally aware of the world around us? Are we thinking with the mind of Christ? Are we willing to be his hands and feet at anytime in any place even if that means losing our place in line?
The world around us should stir us to action. It should give us a voice. The voice of Christ's love in a lost, dark, and dying world.
"Can I bring two toys?" he asked after I announced we are getting ready to go grocery shopping. "Yes," I confirmed. Sometimes he asks to bring three but the norm is one per hand. A few minutes go by and I hollered out, "Where are you?" as I loaded his baby sister in the Volvo. "I'm getting my toys!" he responded. You see this is a big decision for a 3 year 11 month old little boy. He wants to bring his most prized possessions. Which two will enjoy the car ride during our morning adventure? Which two are his favorites of the day?
He settled on a police SUV that lights up and a Mighty World police man. He loves these simple toys that fit nicely in his growing big boy hands. The truck was a gift from his aunt and the action figure was one of his first given to him at his second Christmas. I thought to myself just this week how much use he has gotten out of those little guys. Even Babydoll carries one around here changing out it's hat and hair piece.
I hit the road with bundled Bundles in the back seat. The skies were blue and the sun was shining bright on this brisk 40 something late fall day. Winter is coming.
As we pulled into the parking lot, Brother undoubtedly asked, "Does it say no toys allowed?" I often read him signs telling him the rules about playgrounds (no dogs allowed) and fast food play areas (no shoes allowed). I have made other rules for libraries and big chain stores (no toys allowed). So sometimes a cherished toy makes the trip in the car but is not able to come inside with us. Not today. "Yes you can bring your toys," I answered his expected question.
I didn't find any car shaped carts which is actually better because I can never fit everything I need to buy in those things. Bundle Brother hit the streets with his jeans tucked into his solider rain boots, puffy brown vest layered over his brown thermal shirt and topped with his dad's old "solider hat". I could freeze this exact little boy in time and keep him forever.
We started into the store talking a lot about all the huge veggies we saw in the produce aisle. "Look at that sweet potato! It is as big as your head!" He lifted the spud next to his cheek to measure scale. "And wow! Check out this tomato! Isn't God amazing?! He made this." I said. He picked up the cucumber in the bin next door and married them together announcing they were Bob and Larry. I laughed at his wit.
The kids did really well this shopping trip unlike last time just before Thanksgiving. The shoppers who were blessed to be amongst us then were both thankful to see us go and happy my kids did not belong to them.
Today Sissy Doll had managed to eat her way through half a sleeve of graham crackers when Brother yelled out, "MY TOYS!" I told him he left them in the car and then I remembered his hands being full as he tried to walk Babydoll through the parking lot. "Do you remember where you left them?" I asked. He has a very vivid memory. With it being the first of the month there is no way I was going to weave up and down the aisles again in search of a couple toys that could be anywhere three feet from the ground or lower. "They are by the bananas," he recalled. That made sense. By the time we got to the tiny chilies he was definitely empty handed. We ventured back. No sign of them. We continued with our shopping through the cold sections and I talked to him about the lost and found. He was intrigued. He kept asking me how it worked.
Once finished we got in line to check out. He started to melt thinking we were going to abandon his precious gifts somewhere alone in the store. I pledged that we would go to the lost and found when we were done buying our groceries. As I stood there paying for our basket of food, Bundle Boy yelled out, "That little boy has my truck!!!!" Two cash registers over was a man with four young kids that looked two and three years old. I didn't see the truck. I said a few words to Brother as I finished my transaction. He said it again. "That little boy has my truck!" He started to cry when he realized I wasn't going after them to retrieve them. They were exiting the store just before us.
The family didn't hear or see us. That is when I knew this was going to be a hard lesson for a three year old. I knelt down and told him that maybe that little boy needed the truck more than him. That maybe he doesn't have a lot of toys and this little truck would make his day really happy. I told him we could go to the lost and found and ask about the police man. Apparently Brother noticed that the little boy had it too. He was crying by now. Not a tantrum cry but an I-am-so-disappointed cry. He loved those toys. In fact, he chose those toys to bring with him so he could enjoy them while he was out on my errand. He didn't choose to bring toys that wouldn't have bothered him if they got lost (which is what we as adults would have done). He brought his favorite toys of the day.
We walked out of the store. He grabbed my hand and whimpered while clearly upset. The woman pushing our groceries out to the car was trying desperately to cheer him up as we journeyed to our far away parking spot. He buried his head in my leg as we walked. Sometimes no amount of encouraging words can get you out of how bummed you feel. I tried to explain to her what happened but English was her second language. As she loaded our trunk I put my most precious gifts in their car seats and one car lane over I saw the father loading four little kiddos in to his car (perhaps all his?). I saw the car in the boy's hand while my son sat crying in the second row.
I tipped the lady (that is just what you do here) and went to buckle my sweet boy in. I told him how proud I was of him and how it makes God smile when we don't demand our own way but think of others before ourselves. I reminded him how happy those toys made him and how happy they will make that little boy. I told him that God has given us everything we have and we have to be willing to let it go even when we aren't ready. I also told him that Christmas was coming and he would be getting more toys. ;) What? He is only three.
How easy it would have been for me to walk over to that guy and tell him that those toys belong to MY son. That he just accidentally set them down while we talked about spinach and that HIS boy should give them back to their rightful owner. How we are entitled to have them returned and my son loves them very much. I could have said it nicely and quietly enough as to not cause a scene. But in exchange for my son's tears would have been his son's.
Would that have pleased God? Would that have taught my son (and myself) that this world is not our home and we deserve nothing in this life?
Sometimes disappointing things happen. I am beyond thankful that the list of disappointing things during his nearly four years of life has been very short and extremely trivial. But how will we respond to each circumstance that crosses our path? Will we say yes Lord use me however best brings you glory? Will we deny self when the opportunity arises? Will we spend time searching for the best gifts that we have been given and still be willing to give them up at a moment's notice?
Five minutes into the drive home my heart was heavy for my little boy. He welled up with quiet tears a couple more times when he realized he would never get to play with those toys again. The mama bear inside me wants him never to be sad or disappointed. He was halfway through a cheese stick (which instantly brightened his mood) and he announced, "I can play with my 'nother toys!"
That's right, Little Buddy. God has given you more than enough. Are we willing to let him use the best that we have however he sees fit?!
You can be sure the next time Brother looks for two toys to bring with him to the grocery store, he will reach for his favorite of the day once again. Will I be so quick to do the same?
Today I am thankful that I went to Target to buy some last minute Thanksgiving day items just to get to the register and find my wallet was not in my purse. I walked back through the store and put each item where I got it before abandoning the cart and leaving.
Today I am thankful that after I drove home totally annoyed at a wasted trip in the rain I found my wallet on the floor of the Volvo while I was getting Babydoll out of the car. I could have done without the silent car ride home from my two kids in the back seat and then the words of "Now you are happy, Mommy!" when I found my wallet once parked in the garage. Do my circumstances make me happy/mad or is my joy found in the Lord?
Today I am thankful that because we kind of went hog wild crazy (with a budget) buying stuff for the house after moving in that I didn't spend the money at Target. Who really needs 5-cup Salad or cranberries in the stuffing anyway? The day will go on without them.
Today I am thankful that while I was making dinner My Love walked in the front door with a large bag that was left on the front porch. It was full of presents for the kids from our realtor (a kind of "thanks for the business and congrats on the new house" gesture) and a Target gift card.
Today I am thankful for a God who knows all things. Even details as small as providing more than enough to complete our Thanksgiving dinner menu. I only wish my heart would have been ready and willing to say thank you while living in each disappointing moment today. More missed opportunities. I am choosing to say thank you now Lord.
Sigh.
You didn't think I would write a post just complaining about whining did you? Okay maybe I would have done that anyway but not this time. God always has something to teach me from my circumstances. It is not like he is sovereign over every breath except for my daughter's default whining mode. Oh no. There is grace in everything. Even the stuff that drives me crazy.
These days of unending whining have gotten me thinking. It is not always natural to be obedient at the first sound of instruction and eager to please at any cost. No way. When it comes to my relationship with God, I am the whiner. We all can be from time to time. The glaring difference between me and Him as a parent though is his patience is UNENDING. His voice is calm and encouraging in the midst of years of whining. We default into whimpering and complaining so easily. He gently teaches and corrects. He squats down to be at eye level and speaks quietly so we can hush our tears long enough to hear his still small voice. No, it is definitely not natural to obey first time. And yet we expect it from our children. How thankful I am that my Heavenly Father is the perfect parent! I have a lot to learn.
Yes, my daughter might be in a phase of whining every single word that comes out of her mouth. She is one. What is my excuse? Why do I expect anything else from her? We have to learn to be thankful in all circumstances. How am I doing in the "modeling how to do that" department? I am a continual whining work in progress.
How did we end up with a whiner? Seriously.
Our sweet little Babydoll is going to turn me gray any day now. Somehow with more language came constant whining. We still haven't learned if it is more affective with her to deal with each issue head on or totally ignore it. Our batting average is low at the home field and away.
It is so humbling to have children. Nothing goes as planned and the balance of figuring out how to parent two kids differently is less of a dance and more of a hot mess.
Sigh.
Parenting has recently become a full time job. What I mean by that is we are constantly trying to scramble and figure out what in the world we are even doing. Yes our oldest human child is turning four in a couple of months and no we still have no idea what we are doing. I mean, we do but we don't. The foundation is there but the rest seems to be blowing in the wind right now. What happened to my structure?!?! As My Love so eloquently stated tonight, "It is like they are both going through the terrible twos at the same time!" Note: Neither of them are two.
Having more than one kid brings a whole new set of parenting challenges. Although we always knew the concept we have just realized we can not parent two different personalities the same way. It is just not possible. But how do you do it in a way that isn't overtly noticeable to both parties and how do you figure out HOW to parent the second one differently?
Time to regroup.
Did I ask you to pray for us yet?
God has been really busy confirming for us that this new church body is exactly where he wants us to be. They announced today that the Men's prayer meeting that meets EVERY Saturday morning will be moving to the Chick-fil-A three miles from our house. Um, couldn't be more convenient. Oh and the one Life Group that mentioned children being welcome also very close by. I love it when he does that. It makes me feel like he already has some amazing friendships planned for us in those groups. We are excited to make it to one meeting soon.
And then there was the sermon today. To be honest, we have been struggling some with adjusting to a different teaching style from where we just came from but knew that was just about us. The Word was being taught. Today God spoke right to my heart through the sermon and we both just knew this place would be our new Home.
I write the following for my sake...
I was so touched by all he spoke about in Exodus 35 today. God knew exactly what I needed to hear. How Moses had given God's commands to the Israelites for how the work was going to be done before starting to build the Tabernacle (ie. six days a week) then gave VERY specific instructions on how it would be built and asked the people to bring their offerings and gifts. God thinks of every detail, people. The men and women went back to their tents and "all whose hearts were willing" came and brought "their gifts and gave them freely to the LORD".
Then he goes on to identify a couple guys who became the "project managers" and who were filled with the Spirit of God. He had given them all their abilities and expertise and wisdom and skills.
Exodus 36:
The Lord has gifted
Bezalel, Oholiab, and the other skilled craftsmen with wisdom and
ability to perform any task involved in building the sanctuary. Let them
construct and furnish the Tabernacle, just as the Lord has commanded.
2 So Moses summoned Bezalel and Oholiab and all the others who were specially gifted by the Lord and were eager to get to work. 3
Moses gave them the materials donated by the people of Israel as sacred
offerings for the completion of the sanctuary. But the people continued
to bring additional gifts each morning. 4 Finally the craftsmen who were working on the sanctuary left their work. 5 They went to Moses and reported, “The people have given more than enough materials to complete the job the Lord has commanded us to do!”
6
So Moses gave the command, and this message was sent throughout the
camp: “Men and women, don’t prepare any more gifts for the sanctuary. We
have enough!” So the people stopped bringing their sacred offerings. 7 Their contributions were more than enough to complete the whole project.
God filled these two guys with his Spirit and equipped them to do all the tasks he created them for. And on top of that, God stirred others hearts to provide all the necessary parts and equipment to build the whole Tabernacle. In fact, they brought more than enough to meet the need.
Why do I spend a moment in fear? If God has called us to do something big for his kingdom than that means he created us for that purpose. All we have to do is come before him with willing hearts who are "eager to work". He will provide everything else.
Keep praying.
