Thursday, June 14, 2012
We are in an interesting place. We are exactly where God wants us to be but yet kind of homeless (in a big house). It is strange, like this funny kind of discontent for something more that God has planned for our lives. I keep finding myself reflecting on where God has brought us from and then thinking about where he is taking us. Somehow I settle in this nice peaceful place of unknown and not sure why I'm okay with that. Here is the deal. We were certified to become foster parents in our county in April. We took a trip to see family on the west side immediately after our training classes and homestudy were finished so we could be free to start the next chapter when we got home. We have received no phone calls for a placement but have been in email contact with the family coordinator periodically. So what does that mean? I'm not sure. My Love and I had a great conversation during our anniversary dinner about what we think God is doing in this season. Some things we do know... * He moved us to this house to be used for his glory. * We feel confident that he wants us to be foster parents in our particular county. * We feel comfortable with the age range we have selected to foster at this time in our lives although we are leaning more toward the older end of our scale. * We have some big changes coming up with My Love's career. * We are making strides with getting settled into homschooling. * We are starting to get plugged in with people from our church finally. * The kids have been a challenge to parent lately. So...all that said, we know God has us right where he wants us. We followed Him to his point and now he is asking us to wait. Perhaps he wants to get our lives in order (re: work, school, marriage, home) before more change comes. Although I don't worry about all of that, He knows what he is doing. Maybe I should be worried if it all happens at once. We also don't feel called to start "knocking down doors" to make it happen or to explore other counties or services. We have talked about adoption but do not feel a strong leading to pursue that route just yet. God has a plan for this time and we are waiting on him. He is working in our marriage. He is raising up a local support system around us (that we haven't had much of yet). He is allowing us to focus on parenting during this critical time when it seems like they both need godly instruction and correction with every breath. God is wise. He knows what he is doing. And if we have to keep waiting, we will do just that. He has proved himself faithful and unchanging and we trust him. In the mean time though he is growing in me a deeper desire to have more children in our family. The very thought of any future child of mine being out in the world at this moment makes me sick to want to get to them. But I wait. For God's perfect timing when we will meet them some day. We pray for them daily, the children we will hold and love. He is preparing us for a deeper calling for our lives and we will wait until His time is right to see what exactly that will look like. Pray for us.