Sunday, December 25, 2011

weren't for you

We had such a sweet morning here with just our two Bundles.  Brother came bounding in to our room by 6am after a quick peek downstairs.  I stood to pour my first cup of coffee between presents being unwrapped and Brother yelled for me to look at his new toy.  I returned his glee.  Suddenly I had memories of my own childhood eager to share my excitement with my own mom asking her to notice each gift I had received.  I couldn't just appreciate it for myself.  I wanted her to enjoy the moment with me.  Wouldn't it be amazing if we bubbled over with joy from the Holy Spirit eager to share every gift we have been given with the people in our lives?  

I am humbled.

My mother-in-law gave me a book for Christmas called the Castaway Kid.  She picked it up to read with someone else in mind and quickly realized that I would enjoy it in light of the journey of  foster care we have ahead of us.  I was touched by the inscription she wrote on the inside cover for me.  I turned the book over to read some quotes from recognizable names about the title on the back side.  One review mentioned crying after reading the first page.  Tears welled in my eyes by the third sentence.  But not for the reason you might think.  Just a few lines into the book and God opened my perspective to something big...not in so many words of course.

"You know all those scriptures/songs/quotes about FEAR I have been showing you lately?  They weren't for you."


On Christmas Eve, My Love was sitting in front of the fireplace under four handmade stockings with our sweet gifts from God in his lap reading a book and all I could think about was we might need more stockings for next year and I hope his arms can open wider. 

I am gearing up to learn how to really pray.  To ABIDE.  There will be bundles coming into our home next year with only memories and experiences of FEAR and I want to know everything God has to say about that because honestly I can' relate.

At church this Christmas morning we sang a song called Hosanna with two lines that I cling to this holiday and into the New Year.

'Cause when we see You we find strength to face the day
 And in Your presence all our fears are washed away, washed away

I want to see the Lord.  I want strength for each day.  I want to be IN His presence.  I want to feel fears washing away from every Bundle Baby I hold in my arms because of His love.  Do big things, Father, for your kingdom in and through me.


Chelsea said...

As I read this tears fill my eyes...I can relate. The best thing you can do for someone that is coming from a home of fear is to show them the love of Jesus!

Looking to Him always helped me to feel held, loved and SAFE (which is a huge need I have, to feel safe). My kiddos also have that fear; showing them the love of God was the one thing that calms them.

Up until a couple years ago, when there was much fear, my baby's would wake me with night terrors (not night mares, but TERRORS!) The kind that sits them straight up in bed, eyes wide open and staring right through you, screaming for help. I found the only thing that would instantly calm them and put them back to sleep was to sing Jesus Loves Me. (I always prayed for them but this did not work as consistantly as the singing did). Just the saying of the name Jesus, and the truth that He loves them was all it took to take that fear away.

God will give you the knowledge to know what to do in those moments. Be willing to be a vessel for Him and He will be available to tap into for strength and words.

Love you!

Persicke Family said...

Love you! Merry Christmas!