His sister hopped down from the table to leave her cup of ice cream to me (we were sharing) so she could wonder off toward the play place at Chick-fil-A all by herself. It was an ice cream for dinner kind of day. We don't have them often. In fact it was only the second time. But I have decided with some encouragement from a friend that it is good to throw nutrition out the window every once in a while and embrace junk. As she walked away from our table in the quiet restaurant, her now four year old brother jumped from his own seat without being asked and said, "I'll help you open the door." The clock said something that started with a four and there were only two tables that had people sitting in them near us. Noticably two teenage brothers having an early dinner behind us. This is the conversation (to the best of my memory five hours later) that followed.
me: I'm so proud of you [Brother]. It pleases God when you help your sister.
He stood in the doorway and preceded to instruct his sister on how to play in the empty play area.
him to her: Climb up there [pointing to the top] and take off your socks and boots and put them in the cubby.
She followed his instructions and then stood at the glass and pressed her mouth against the clear wall for a few minutes. Meanwhile Brother came wandering back to the table where I sat across from his melting ice cream cone.
me: Thank you for helping your sister, [Brother]. It makes God so happy when you think of others.
him: (smiling)
me: Do you miss your Daddy [who is out of town for work]?
him: Yes.
me: Me too.
him: What do you miss about him?
me: I miss his hugs.
him: And his kisses?
me: Yep.
him: Mommy you can't do bad things and scream at Daddy.
me: You're right. (gulp) Sometimes Mommy disobeys God too so what do I have to do?
him: (I forget what he said here)
me: I have to make it right with God and Daddy. I have to say I'm sorry and ask for forgiveness and choose to please God with my words and actions the next time. Believe it or not your Mommy isn't perfect. Do you know who is?
him: God!
me: That's right. Jesus lived a perfect life. He never sinned or disobeyed God. And because he lives in our hearts, when God looks at us he sees Jesus. Isn't that amazing?!
him: And Jesus died on the cross to save us.
me: That's right. So the very least we can do is bring him glory by pleasing him with our words and actions. Just like you did helping your sister.
him (poking his finger in the bottom of his ice cream cone): Mom, the bottom of the cone is squishy.
Melted ice cream began to drip from the bottom. Memories of a scoop of Thrifty ice cream rushed over me. He handed it off to me and declared he was done while jumping down to join his sister in the empty play area.
Just my two kids in that cold smelly space behind a glass wall joyfully playing together. Climbing to the top of the structure side by side talking all the way. Brother would slide down the curly tube slide first usually in some purposely awkward position and holler something up to his sister. Moments later her tiny body came launching down at full speed backwards and crash into her brother sitting at the bottom. He burst into laughter and I did too. Her hair stood on end from the static electricity generated. They repeated this several more times and after each collision he would turn and look through the window at me and watch me laugh too while giving him a thumbs up.
Not a care in the world.
Not a single fear or burden.
I am overwhelmed by His love for me.
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
seeing beauty
Some dear friends of ours have a daughter who is a senior in high school and has a home school education. It is safe to say her presence (and that of her three brothers and parents) in our lives was one of the pieces of the puzzle God used to confirm for us his plan for our family to home school. She is an amazing girl, people. You would never believe she is a teenager. We are blessed to know this family and I wanted to share one of N's most recent life changing experiences. Just in case you are in the market for another blog read. She just returned from a trip to India that she took with her aunt as part of a large group who went for humanitarian and missionary (I think) outreach. She has been in the process of writing (beautifully) about her trip and I know you will be blessed by her view of the world and the lost and broken whom God loves. N has shared three posts about her trip so far but I know her heart and mind are overflowing and there will be more to come.
Enjoy!
http://seeingbeauty.wordpress.com/
Enjoy!
http://seeingbeauty.wordpress.com/
Monday, January 23, 2012
Bible app
A friend posted a Psalm reference on Facebook today.
My Love gave me his old phone when he got a new one. I don't have a
data plan (because I don't want one) but I can use the apps/ internet at home (where I am most of the time) or
with Wi-Fi at public places. One app I hadn't used yet but had noticed was
there from when My Love used the phone was one called Holy Bible. I
plugged in the Psalm my friend shared on her status. At the bottom of the page was an
audio button. A male voice started reading scripture to me. What? Am I
way behind the times or something? This little tiny app might
revolutionize my cleaning habits. While the kids took in an episode of
Word World via Netflix after dinner (don't judge), I cleaned the kitchen with
headphones on. I heard ten Psalms read to me before I had to stop
cleaning and start parenting. It becomes a lot harder to choose the hard thing at the end of the
day when you know your husband isn't coming home and everyone is tired (praying for you JS).
I am a terrible housekeeper. OK. Maybe not terrible but I don't love it and I neglect a lot of important jobs for too long. Suddenly I found another motivation (in addition to serving My God and my family). Listening to scripture. Oh this is going to be good for me, people. I can feel it. And the New Testament!! Yes, I think I willlike need this very much.
Next word study: steadfast love. It sure stood out in the version I was listening to while being repeated often.
I am a terrible housekeeper. OK. Maybe not terrible but I don't love it and I neglect a lot of important jobs for too long. Suddenly I found another motivation (in addition to serving My God and my family). Listening to scripture. Oh this is going to be good for me, people. I can feel it. And the New Testament!! Yes, I think I will
Next word study: steadfast love. It sure stood out in the version I was listening to while being repeated often.
gathering more tools
My parents gave me a study Bible in 1996 when I was in high school. The binding is missing half of the leather and the edges of the cover are cracked but it still works. Back then and into my college years, I remember sitting down to read a passage studying the commentary and following little foot notes to scripture throughout the Bible. I would flip back and forth following another verse foot note. Underlining and highlighting (gasp!). It has been years since I studied that way (I do mostly book studies and devotionals now) but last night I got caught up in it once again. My Love bought me a new Bible (ESV) for Christmas. It was totally unexpected and so thoughtful. I have started studying again.
At dinner I replayed this song at the table while the kids and I ate. Bundle Boy sang along at the parts he knew and Babydoll lifted her hands. It was emotional for me to witness but I held it together and sang the words out loud to remind myself of the truth.
The bridge (is that the right term?) started and I heard it again.
I lift my eyes up
My help comes from the Lord
Funny that part of the song didn't come to mind when I shared this post. God was saying something and he was repeating it. From there (Still at the table. Don't judge. My Love is out of town.) I tried to look up the actual worship song that I remember singing in high school when our youth group met on the beach of a local lake during the summer to worship and hear the Word. I couldn't find a decent YouTube track that wasn't extremely distracting (ie. ska). Some of the videos were labeled Psalm 121. I opened my Bible and read it. I reread Psalm 145 (a scripture my sister shared with me in a comment). Then the flipping started. More tools for my belt. More repetition. More truth. I couldn't get enough. Did I mention this was not happening at the dinner table but on the toilet in my bath room (while sitting on the closed lid) while my Bundles took a bath together after dinner? Now you know. I scribbled scripture references on a notepad. Water periodically splashed out of the tub and I remembered to parent.
God has been clearly telling me that the words of encouragement I will need when the dark days fall on us will ONLY be scripture. Take note people. This will be your job.
Gathering more tools for my BELT OF TRUTH.
Psalm 147:3 "He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds."
*Oh, LORD, remind me that only You will be able to heal their broken hearts. And ours too. Thank you.
Psalm 144:1-2 "Blessed be the LORD, my rock, who trains my hands for war, and my fingers for battle; his is my steadfast love and my fortress, my stronghold and my deliverer, my shield and he in whom I take refuge, who subdues people under me."
*Oh, LORD, you are my rock and training me for battle. Remind me that you are MY steadfast love, fortress, stronghold, deliverer, shield, refuge and it isn't just up to me to remember all you taught me. You will be fighting with me. Thank you.
Psalm 145:14-19 "The Lord upholds all who are falling and raises up all who are bowed down. The eyes of all look to you, and you give them their food in due season. You open your hand; you satisfy the desire of every living thing. The LORD is righteous in all his ways and kind in all his works. The LORD is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth. He fulfills the desire of those who fear him; he also hears their cry and saves them."
*Oh, LORD, on those dark days please hold me up. Remind me that even then you will provide, satisfy, be kind, be near, hear my cry and save me. Thank you.
Psalm 91:1 "He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shelter of the Almighty."
*Oh, LORD, teach me to dwell in the shelter of your wings so that I may abide. Thank you.
And just for fun, God brought me here. Remember when a friend shared part of this passage awhile back and I knew I would need it again someday? No? Then maybe I didn't share it here. Follow this link to her original post. And then read this. I love it when God repeats himself even months later.
Psalm 126:1-6 "When the LORD restored the fortunes of Zion we were like whose who dream. Then our mouth was filled with laughter, and our tongue with shouts of joy; then they said among the nations, "The LORD has done great things for them," The LORD has done great things for us; we are glad. Restore our fortunes, O LORD, like streams in the Negeb! "Those who sow in tears shall reap in shouts of joy! He who goes out weeping, bearing the seed for sowing, shall come home with shouts of joy, bringing his sheaves with him."
Oh, LORD, remind us in times of deep sadness and heartache that you WILL restore us to laughter and joy like as if it were a dream because we can't imagine it ever happening again. Choosing to do the hard thing is worth it. Thank you.
Mmmmm. Nourishing to my soul. Who knew multitasking during bath time could be so fruitful (no pun intended...I think they turned into prunes from soaking so long).
At dinner I replayed this song at the table while the kids and I ate. Bundle Boy sang along at the parts he knew and Babydoll lifted her hands. It was emotional for me to witness but I held it together and sang the words out loud to remind myself of the truth.
The bridge (is that the right term?) started and I heard it again.
I lift my eyes up
My help comes from the Lord
Funny that part of the song didn't come to mind when I shared this post. God was saying something and he was repeating it. From there (Still at the table. Don't judge. My Love is out of town.) I tried to look up the actual worship song that I remember singing in high school when our youth group met on the beach of a local lake during the summer to worship and hear the Word. I couldn't find a decent YouTube track that wasn't extremely distracting (ie. ska). Some of the videos were labeled Psalm 121. I opened my Bible and read it. I reread Psalm 145 (a scripture my sister shared with me in a comment). Then the flipping started. More tools for my belt. More repetition. More truth. I couldn't get enough. Did I mention this was not happening at the dinner table but on the toilet in my bath room (while sitting on the closed lid) while my Bundles took a bath together after dinner? Now you know. I scribbled scripture references on a notepad. Water periodically splashed out of the tub and I remembered to parent.
God has been clearly telling me that the words of encouragement I will need when the dark days fall on us will ONLY be scripture. Take note people. This will be your job.
Gathering more tools for my BELT OF TRUTH.
Psalm 147:3 "He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds."
*Oh, LORD, remind me that only You will be able to heal their broken hearts. And ours too. Thank you.
Psalm 144:1-2 "Blessed be the LORD, my rock, who trains my hands for war, and my fingers for battle; his is my steadfast love and my fortress, my stronghold and my deliverer, my shield and he in whom I take refuge, who subdues people under me."
*Oh, LORD, you are my rock and training me for battle. Remind me that you are MY steadfast love, fortress, stronghold, deliverer, shield, refuge and it isn't just up to me to remember all you taught me. You will be fighting with me. Thank you.
Psalm 145:14-19 "The Lord upholds all who are falling and raises up all who are bowed down. The eyes of all look to you, and you give them their food in due season. You open your hand; you satisfy the desire of every living thing. The LORD is righteous in all his ways and kind in all his works. The LORD is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth. He fulfills the desire of those who fear him; he also hears their cry and saves them."
*Oh, LORD, on those dark days please hold me up. Remind me that even then you will provide, satisfy, be kind, be near, hear my cry and save me. Thank you.
Psalm 91:1 "He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shelter of the Almighty."
*Oh, LORD, teach me to dwell in the shelter of your wings so that I may abide. Thank you.
And just for fun, God brought me here. Remember when a friend shared part of this passage awhile back and I knew I would need it again someday? No? Then maybe I didn't share it here. Follow this link to her original post. And then read this. I love it when God repeats himself even months later.
Psalm 126:1-6 "When the LORD restored the fortunes of Zion we were like whose who dream. Then our mouth was filled with laughter, and our tongue with shouts of joy; then they said among the nations, "The LORD has done great things for them," The LORD has done great things for us; we are glad. Restore our fortunes, O LORD, like streams in the Negeb! "Those who sow in tears shall reap in shouts of joy! He who goes out weeping, bearing the seed for sowing, shall come home with shouts of joy, bringing his sheaves with him."
Oh, LORD, remind us in times of deep sadness and heartache that you WILL restore us to laughter and joy like as if it were a dream because we can't imagine it ever happening again. Choosing to do the hard thing is worth it. Thank you.
Mmmmm. Nourishing to my soul. Who knew multitasking during bath time could be so fruitful (no pun intended...I think they turned into prunes from soaking so long).
Saturday, January 21, 2012
tool belt
The other night when I was driving around feeling sorry for myself and trying to drown out God's voice I turned on our church's radio station. A sermon from Malcolm Wild was running through the air waves.
You can not run a ministry alone.
As part of the armor God is asking me to put on, I reach for the BELT OF TRUTH.
I will hear his voice in a song, sermon, scripture, blog post... "Put this tool in your belt. You will need it later." So I ask you to remember this post in the future when I write about the dark nights and deep valleys ahead of us. He is giving me the tools ahead of time for the battle so I can reach down when I need them. Tools that will speak His truth when the fog of the storm is too thick to hear it clearly.
So gently. All of you. Please. When that moment comes, tell me to...
LIFT MY EYES UP.
We can't do this ministry alone.
You can not run a ministry alone.
As part of the armor God is asking me to put on, I reach for the BELT OF TRUTH.
I will hear his voice in a song, sermon, scripture, blog post... "Put this tool in your belt. You will need it later." So I ask you to remember this post in the future when I write about the dark nights and deep valleys ahead of us. He is giving me the tools ahead of time for the battle so I can reach down when I need them. Tools that will speak His truth when the fog of the storm is too thick to hear it clearly.
So gently. All of you. Please. When that moment comes, tell me to...
LIFT MY EYES UP.
We can't do this ministry alone.
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