God lit a fire beneath me this past week. The process of learning to be thankful in ALL circumstances is proving to change me in ways I never thought about before. I mean, maybe down deep I knew I would be more grateful for all God does for me (but really I was completely overwhelmed by that realization) as I counted 1000 gifts. And perhaps it wasn't all that crazy to see how God worked on yet more places in our marriage while learning to give up resentments and expectations. I was pleasantly surprised to see my attitude adjusted (though sickened at the same time for how quickly I default into a reaction of I-need-I-want-I-deserve...grumble, grumble, complain) as I allowed God to take every thought captive. He has slowly been transforming my heart these past two months (note: Has it only been that long?).
There have been other parts of this process that I never considered surrendering to God before. You know like my whole self. My everything. Not just my future or my family or my money. Not just my attitude or my stuff or my worship. But actually surrendering self. God showed me a relationship he wanted to grow. I am letting him water. God showed me needs others have that I may be able to meet. I am listening. He has been faithful to teach me that he is sovereign over all and we are created for his purpose. My life is not about me and I want to live every moment for Him. Not just live in a way that pleases him (or glorifies Him), but actually accomplishes His will for my each and every day.
When I say He has lit a fire beneath me this past week, I mean it. God has planted a new purpose in me that perhaps I wouldn't have been available to hear even three months ago. Back when I was more concerned with my own life and family for example. Surrendering control (after a rough beginning still trying to do it in my own strength) is actually turning out to be more fulfilling than I expected. God can see the big picture. He knows how to best use my life and I am excited to finally let Him do that.
God I want to be your hands and feet. I want to think beyond myself and serve others. This life is not my own. USE it for your glory in all things
More to come...