Friday, March 14, 2014

goodbye bentley boy (part 2 of 2)

The drive seemed so short.  Through the tears we shared stories of our Boy.  "Remember when we picked him up from the breeder?" I said.  We laughed thinking about the tiny puff ball that he was at 8 weeks.  We had brought our huge wire crate in the back of the Volvo to pick him up.  He looked so tiny.  "Yeah," My Love said smiling.  "He threw up in the car and I had to pull over to clean it up."  We both laughed.  Then silence and tears again.  We recalled such sweet memories spent together as a family with our Wups over the last seven years.  Road trips, hikes, camping trips, bed and breakfast get aways.  How could we even make new memories in our little family without him in it?  It seemed impossible.

As we pulled up to the vet's office, I was weeping uncontrollably.  We took a minute kissing him in the back of the car before stumbling into the office.  People sat there with their pets smiling and laughing.  The clip board required us to sign in with a space to fill in the reason for our visit.  I couldn't bring myself to write it down. They brought us into a room right away.

We took care of some logistics and then spent the rest of our time with him petting him and kissing him and crying on him.  We kept telling him how much we would miss him and what a good boy he had been.  He was laying peacefully in My Loves arms when the techs stepped out for a minute and a sweet song came to mind.  A song we have sung to our human children since they were babies called Snuggle Puppy.  Through tears, My Love and I sang it to our furry firstborn on the floor of the vet's office.  

The vet came back in and it was time.  I won't share details but it was terrible.  His spirit left him and I couldn't bring myself to even look at him after that.  I was doubled over wailing and yelling about the obvious realization that had just happened.  My Love had to help me to the car as we exited out the back door leaving our boy behind.  There were more tears as the car felt extremely empty.  And then it was like the tears were all gone.  I don't remember crying again after that.  We talked more on the ride home and felt emotionally drained but the grief morphed into something else.  We had just about gone through all the stages before this day and found ourselves just missing his presence.

We drove up to our house just the two of us and thanked our neighbor and friend for blessing us with such a precious memory.  We had both been there when Bentley was welcomed into our family and we were both with him at the end.  I can never repay her for that gift!

In the midst of our sorrow, there was God's overwhelming grace wrapped up in a precious baby girl asleep in an upstairs room.  During the time that we lost our Bentley Boy, Sweet Pea's presence in our family became a soothing balm to our aching hearts.

That Tuesday night, My Love and I were just numb sitting next to each other on the couch while the TV played.  He was really gone.  I had asked friends on Facebook to share stories of our sweet dog and we spent the rest of our night smiling and laughing as we recalled his crazy antics.  He was loved well by so many.  

Good bye Bentley Boy!  When we brought you home in 2006, you made us a family and we are better for knowing you.  We miss you terribly and wish we had more time before you had to go.  But oh how sweet the memories will always be in our hearts!

(February 2014)

1 comment:

Katharine Matlock said...

Oh Alexis, how my heart broke for you as the news came through on facebook. How I cried for you as I read this. Thank you for sharing this.