my son was reborn

What an amazing day!  

It started like most Sunday mornings.  I got up a little early to shower before breakfast and then somehow still had a hard time getting out the door on time.

On this particular Sunday morning though, the children sat in the service with us.  It is part of what they call their 5th Sunday Celebration.  During every month that has a fifth Sunday, they offer a baptism at the end of the service and then the whole church stays for a potluck lunch.  

Since we had plans with other friends to go apple picking after church, we just went home for lunch.  My Love grilled steak and we ate outside on the patio in the beautiful sunshine of this crisp fall day.

During the meal, My Love and I started talking about baptism with Brother.  Asking him if he knew what it meant and why they chose to do it.  He seemed to have a general idea based on his last experience with 5th Sunday.

him: But when can I get baptized?
me: Well first you have to accept Jesus into your heart.
him: I want to do that.
me: You do!?
him: Yeah.
me:  You have to believe that Jesus is God.
him: I do.
me: And that he suffered and died so your sins might be forgiven.
him: I do.

I know I said other stuff too that he understood and agreed with but the rest seems like a blur.  Brother went on to confirm his personal faith in Christ and then prayed his own sweet two sentence prayer out loud to invite God to be the Savior and Lord of his life.  I can't remember the exact words that he said (I wanted them to be his own) but that is probably for the best because really it was straight from his heart to God's ears.  The decision was all his own and he initiated the invitation.

Afterward I cheered and told him how angels were singing in heaven today.  That this was the most important decision he would ever make in his life.  Then I told him that God lives in his heart now.  With big eyes he asked, "You mean my heart is his home?"  It was really precious.  Suddenly everything seemed to click in his head.

We went on with our day out with friends and I shared the news with them.  They responded with such excitement for our boy.  Once back home that evening, Brother boldly told the news to two boys on our street that he was outside playing with about his "special day". 

Oh the joy of seeing your child make a decision to follow Christ. 

Tonight as My Love and I tucked him into bed, we told Brother how he wasn't just our son anymore.  He was also our brother.  "Can I call you sis?" he asked.

Oh how amazing it will be to move forward discipling this little boy in God's word.  Lord thank you for choosing him to be yours.  Speak to his heart at a young age so he might follow closely after you all the days of his life.  Thank you for the gift of being present for this amazing day.  September 29, 2013.  

Happy Re-Birth Day Brother.  Today was the day you started a new life in Christ.

one is coming

It seems like I should probably post something.  I mean, there has been a lot going on but somehow none of it feels like worthy of writing down when so much time as passed.  The truth is we are all a work in progress and yet sometimes we just want to skip to the end.  Let's make a (one-sided) deal though.  I'll get through the busyness of this coming weekend and then we'll meet back here sometime next week for a thorough update.  It is date.  

lift my life

sunflower

 Babydoll brought a paper cup home from Sunday School filled with dirt.  A tiny seed hiding deep inside.  She planted it in the front yard in the same place that her Brother did the year before.  We watched it grow from the earth into one bloom bigger than her head. Some fuzzy bumble bees called it home for quite awhile.  At some point the weight of the flower became too heavy even for its strong stalk to hold up.  It spent weeks, months growing up toward the sun and then at some point slowly started bending its head down toward its Maker.  Humbled by the beauty that He created.  And yet a perfect example of the sunshine that helped warm the seed enough to start the first sign of growth.

good steward

He stood faithfully at the entrance of our sanctuary every Sunday morning.  An slender, above-average tall man with straight, fine, white hair parted down the middle and stopping just above the shoulders.  It made me smile when I first learned his name was in fact Harry.  It fit. 

He had a look about him like he was always on a mission.  Like he had a purpose in each action that he did while quietly serving our church each Sunday.  Working the lights, welcoming guests and doing behind the scenes kind of work.  

Come to find out he had been married to his petite wife for 43 years and was the CEO of a local credit union for 27 of those years.  He always greeted you with a smile as he handed you a bulletin.  

Then one week day morning he was driving to work at 6:15am and ran off the road and hit a pole in a single car accident.  Not long afterward, he was in the presence of his Savior and Lord.  63 years old.

I didn't know him at all.  The above description was the extent of my interaction with the usher that was seemingly the face of our fellowship. I wouldn't say I have been grieving his loss, but I was surprisingly shaken by his absence from this life.

One day he was there.  The next he was gone.

There is hope in the lives of the loved ones he left behind knowing they will see him again.  But suddenly my life seems so fragile.  The lives of my children.  My husband.  Why do I waste a moment demanding my own way or harboring resentment or holding onto fear?

The truth is, this life is not my own.  And the very second that God wants to take me home, my mission on this earth will be complete.

So why do I feel like a failure?  I had such lofty plans when we moved to this house, this street, this neighborhood.  I felt called to this community and believed God had big plans to use us here.  But really our days here could be numbered and suddenly I am pondering whether I have been a good steward of the purpose God set before us during this chapter of our lives.

he is with us

growth

I told My Love I wanted a garden.  I conned visiting guests into casually bringing up the subject so as to encourage him it was a good idea.  He still resisted.  And then one spring day he decided a small little garden in our huge back yard wasn't the worst idea in the world.  He chose the location.  He decided the size.  He planted the seeds.

I was mad.  I refused to participate in it at all.  

What I had hoped was going to be a neat homeschool experience wound up bruising my pride and so I pouted.  It was ridiculous really.  I mean, I should have been celebrating that My Love had finally agreed to let us grow a garden.  But instead I resisted because I wasn't the one in control of it all.  It was ugly.  In my heart (and out loud), I hoped the garden would be an epic fail.  That would show him.  I mean, in my opinion he did it all wrong and just plowed forward without any planning.  

God showed me instead.

There was growth.  In this tiny plot of land in the corner of our yard, plants shot up out of the rocky earth on top of each other and they flourished even without advanced planning by the sower.  Tomatoes are growing on top of squash on top of bell peppers on top of carrots.  But there is evidence of growth.  God sure showed me.  The circumstances weren't ideal.  The space was too small.  The seeds were planted too close together.  There wasn't enough rich soil on top of the rocky dirt.  

But God grew something beautiful and delicious from nothing and it didn't have a thing to do with me.

*****

Something happens when you grow your own food.  You do end up becoming invested in the process. You watch its growth and celebrate each developmental milestone.

Then up pops a late bloomer that you weren't expecting.  You cheer it on and water it tenderly hoping it will produce a crop equal to its nearby behemoth neighboring relative.  You wait and you watch. What is going to happen?

Then there is the plant that grows in size before it fully ripens.  You would have been satisfied with the juicy red fruit two weeks ago and yet it assures you it has more growing to do before it is ready to be plucked from the vine.  You wait and you watch.  What is going to happen?

There is the lettuce that first grew like a normal head and then changed later in the season and started growing tall toward the sky trying to reach closer to the sun.  It almost looks too crazy-radical to eat and yet once cut from the earth the lettuce leaves look the same in the bowl as the previous bunch.  I wonder what made it change course.  You wait and you watch.  What is going to happen?

Nearby the patio is a hanging basket of strawberries that blooms and produces successfully just in time to mold and rot on the thriving plant.  I'm talking dozens of them.  They grow in size along with everything else and then just as they start to turn red, they are consumed by the circumstances surrounding them.  Moisture.  Bugs.  A beautiful worthless bountiful harvest.  You wait and you watch.  What is going to happen?

And then finally there are the blueberries.  We planted five bushes around our patio watching them ever so slowly bloom and then berry and then finally begin to turn blue.  It took months.  We dreamed about all we would do with the berries.  We planned for a bumper crop smiling that we were outwitting the usual high grocery store cost.  And then one day recently, I looked out the school room window and saw a bird hop along the ground and pluck our beloved fruit right off the bush.  I ran outside hollering and noticed our precious plants were nearly bare.  The birds had found them and we were sustaining their life.  And yet a remnant remained.

 We are in a season of life where we are slowly realizing that God is in control.  It doesn't matter if it all makes sense or is pre-planned.  He can grow something beautiful from nothing in the heart of a person.  We watch and we wait trusting that something is going to happen and it has nothing to do with us.