I never noticed the light coming through the blinds onto the wall like this before. His subtle beauty amazes me.
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Monday, January 9, 2012
all of me
I dare you to listen to this song with foster parenting in mind (although I am positive the lyrics are about something else entirely) and not tear up. It might be physically impossible. Seriously. Every word was written seemingly from my soul. God has been busy teaching me many things. He is working in my heart and My Love's heart and our marriage and our home. He is turning over the junk drawer and asking us to deal with everything that falls to floor. It is a strange place to be knowing full well that obedience to God includes our broken hearts. More than anything God wants us BOTH to die to self and love with reckless abandon. No matter the tears, the pain, the heartache. It hasn't been easy. It won't be easy. But God is equipping us and I am overwhelmed by his love and gentle guidance. Completely. More to come.
Sunday, January 8, 2012
God is always good
Sovereignty is a tricky thing. We only tend to think about it when things are going poorly. When life is peddling along great we take all the credit for the happy moments. God must be blessing us. But when the road of life takes a sharp turn we suddenly become aware of the bigger picture. Of course our default reaction is not to praise God in the storm. But as the fog lifts we see that his plan was perfect all along and had we only trusted him in the chaos we would have experienced his peace rather than our own fear.
I see things differently in 2012.
This week Bundle Brother got a cold. Then Babydoll. It wouldn't have been a topic to open my eyes to God's sovereignty except that brother's 4th birthday party bash was approaching on Saturday. We didn't mention their sickness to our friends and were hopeful that with lots of rest and fluids it would pass before the weekend. Sister was two days behind his cold so she was in worse shape than her recovering sibling. Saturday morning came. Early. Brother came running in our room at 4am saying through tears about his ear hurting and he needed "earwax" (which is what he calls q-tips). I gave him some water and Motrin and sent him back to bed. Three hours later he awoke for the day with healthy eyes. My Love gave him a hair cut for party day and Brother got dressed in his solider shirt paired over his brown long sleeved thermal and khaki cargo pants. Things were being disenfected around here. We sat the kids down at the table with our four visiting house guests and opened up a box of Peanut Butter Cheerios that we had picked up to try for the first time. Bowls were filled and bananas were passed out. Babydoll started having a coughing attack (like she is right now standing next to me). Brother burst into tears and complained about his ear hurting. Our boy has never had an ear infection in his four years of life. I looked at My Love and asked him if he thought we should cancel the party. We agreed that in that moment it was the best decision we could make. Luckily the party was scheduled for 4pm so I was able to let people know early enough so they could still enjoy their day.
Brother was up in bed again by this time. I went upstairs and broke the news which we had been prepping him for in the days leading up to this moment. He took the news very well. He didn't even seem disappointed. I came back downstairs and started sending texts and sending emails. My friend was sitting at the table for breakfast with her two kids and another mutual friend of ours. She felt terrible about the colds that her two had when they arrived at our home over a week before. She thought she was responsible for the cancelled party.
How could I possibly be upset about it? God is always good! Always! Brother wasn't even disappointed. It would have been easy to focus on all the time I had spent running errands this past week preparing for the party. The money spent. The cupcakes baked. The decorations we had put up while up late the night before with three of our good friends. But wouldn't that have made the day about me? God knows what he is doing. He was sovereign over the week before while they were getting sick and he remains sovereign today. I completely admit it would have been more difficult to be so positive had Brother been broken-hearted but he wasn't. The older I get the more I see disappoints as opportunities for teachable moments for my kids (and myself). We can have all the plans in the world but God is in control and he knows better for us than we can prepare for ourselves.
With clearer eyes I started to look at the new opportunities God made from this canceled party. Two families in particular were making the time to drive down even with other plans before/during. Now they could fully commit to the other. Two other families took the time to show their love to me in ways I needed. One text a pic of the card her daughter had made for Bundle Boy. Another offered for her daughter to call Brother later in the day to cheer him up. I was touched. The other three families live on our new street and were now freed up to enjoy the rare beautiful and sunny day we had. I thought about each conversation the parents would be having with their child/ren. Some of them may have been crushed. More teachable moments. I thought about the opportunities they were given to spend as a family doing something else. Then I thought about the people God literally put in my living room that morning. A close friend who lives states away. Her husband sat on our couch the night before as we blew up grenade [water] balloons (the party was solider-themed) before driving back into the City for work Saturday morning. We have been praying for his salvation as his address for the past several months has been in the Afghanistan desert. He returns for several more months in another week. I thought about the single friend who spent Friday night sleeping on our couch and was spooning his own PB Cheerios into his mouth as this decision was being made. We have been praying for his wife for over a year. He is not married but longs to be. I hopped on FB as the dust was settling around here that morning and read our friend's status update while he sat on our couch.
"If you are going to really reach your goals in life, sometimes you have to delay gratification. You have to do the tough thing instead of the fun thing, the right thing instead of the pleasurable thing.
Any goal that's worth achieving is going to have obstacles in the way. You need to have a long-term view so, when difficulties come, you can persevere knowing that you are going to get past it.
God's timing is perfect and ours is not. When you find yourself in God's waiting room, just be patient and persistent. A God-given vision will always be fulfilled." ~R.W.
Seriously people if that was the only reason for sick kids and a canceled party, PRAISE GOD! A few nights before our friend sat on our couch sharing his vision for the new year. His goals for making changes in his life. And without out-right saying it, asked us to pray for a new relationship with real potential.
God is always good.
Are you thankful for his sovereignty today?
Brother woke up early again today crying for earwax. My Love and I had just sat down for our first cup of coffee and Bibles in hand. Upon inspection My Love discovered dried blood in our son's right ear. "I can't hear out of this side but I can hear out of this side," he said to me. My Love got on the phone and scheduled an appointment at a nearby urgent care office on this Sunday morning. My Love had offered to watch all four kids this morning (since two were still sick) so my friend and I could go to church together. With the boys off to the doctor that plan again changed. But God is always good. And in light of yesterday my first thought was surprisingly to be thankful it was the weekend because My Love was home to take him to the doctor for me. He just called from the doctore. Brother has a sinus infection, ear infection, and ruptured ear drum. He is never sick.
The Enemy keeps trying to shake our gratitude but we stand firm. We choose to trust our Sovereign Lord even in the disappointing because we know the very near future will include LOTS of disappointing moments. What will we do then?
More to come...
I see things differently in 2012.
This week Bundle Brother got a cold. Then Babydoll. It wouldn't have been a topic to open my eyes to God's sovereignty except that brother's 4th birthday party bash was approaching on Saturday. We didn't mention their sickness to our friends and were hopeful that with lots of rest and fluids it would pass before the weekend. Sister was two days behind his cold so she was in worse shape than her recovering sibling. Saturday morning came. Early. Brother came running in our room at 4am saying through tears about his ear hurting and he needed "earwax" (which is what he calls q-tips). I gave him some water and Motrin and sent him back to bed. Three hours later he awoke for the day with healthy eyes. My Love gave him a hair cut for party day and Brother got dressed in his solider shirt paired over his brown long sleeved thermal and khaki cargo pants. Things were being disenfected around here. We sat the kids down at the table with our four visiting house guests and opened up a box of Peanut Butter Cheerios that we had picked up to try for the first time. Bowls were filled and bananas were passed out. Babydoll started having a coughing attack (like she is right now standing next to me). Brother burst into tears and complained about his ear hurting. Our boy has never had an ear infection in his four years of life. I looked at My Love and asked him if he thought we should cancel the party. We agreed that in that moment it was the best decision we could make. Luckily the party was scheduled for 4pm so I was able to let people know early enough so they could still enjoy their day.
Brother was up in bed again by this time. I went upstairs and broke the news which we had been prepping him for in the days leading up to this moment. He took the news very well. He didn't even seem disappointed. I came back downstairs and started sending texts and sending emails. My friend was sitting at the table for breakfast with her two kids and another mutual friend of ours. She felt terrible about the colds that her two had when they arrived at our home over a week before. She thought she was responsible for the cancelled party.
How could I possibly be upset about it? God is always good! Always! Brother wasn't even disappointed. It would have been easy to focus on all the time I had spent running errands this past week preparing for the party. The money spent. The cupcakes baked. The decorations we had put up while up late the night before with three of our good friends. But wouldn't that have made the day about me? God knows what he is doing. He was sovereign over the week before while they were getting sick and he remains sovereign today. I completely admit it would have been more difficult to be so positive had Brother been broken-hearted but he wasn't. The older I get the more I see disappoints as opportunities for teachable moments for my kids (and myself). We can have all the plans in the world but God is in control and he knows better for us than we can prepare for ourselves.
With clearer eyes I started to look at the new opportunities God made from this canceled party. Two families in particular were making the time to drive down even with other plans before/during. Now they could fully commit to the other. Two other families took the time to show their love to me in ways I needed. One text a pic of the card her daughter had made for Bundle Boy. Another offered for her daughter to call Brother later in the day to cheer him up. I was touched. The other three families live on our new street and were now freed up to enjoy the rare beautiful and sunny day we had. I thought about each conversation the parents would be having with their child/ren. Some of them may have been crushed. More teachable moments. I thought about the opportunities they were given to spend as a family doing something else. Then I thought about the people God literally put in my living room that morning. A close friend who lives states away. Her husband sat on our couch the night before as we blew up grenade [water] balloons (the party was solider-themed) before driving back into the City for work Saturday morning. We have been praying for his salvation as his address for the past several months has been in the Afghanistan desert. He returns for several more months in another week. I thought about the single friend who spent Friday night sleeping on our couch and was spooning his own PB Cheerios into his mouth as this decision was being made. We have been praying for his wife for over a year. He is not married but longs to be. I hopped on FB as the dust was settling around here that morning and read our friend's status update while he sat on our couch.
"If you are going to really reach your goals in life, sometimes you have to delay gratification. You have to do the tough thing instead of the fun thing, the right thing instead of the pleasurable thing.
Any goal that's worth achieving is going to have obstacles in the way. You need to have a long-term view so, when difficulties come, you can persevere knowing that you are going to get past it.
God's timing is perfect and ours is not. When you find yourself in God's waiting room, just be patient and persistent. A God-given vision will always be fulfilled." ~R.W.
Seriously people if that was the only reason for sick kids and a canceled party, PRAISE GOD! A few nights before our friend sat on our couch sharing his vision for the new year. His goals for making changes in his life. And without out-right saying it, asked us to pray for a new relationship with real potential.
God is always good.
Are you thankful for his sovereignty today?
Brother woke up early again today crying for earwax. My Love and I had just sat down for our first cup of coffee and Bibles in hand. Upon inspection My Love discovered dried blood in our son's right ear. "I can't hear out of this side but I can hear out of this side," he said to me. My Love got on the phone and scheduled an appointment at a nearby urgent care office on this Sunday morning. My Love had offered to watch all four kids this morning (since two were still sick) so my friend and I could go to church together. With the boys off to the doctor that plan again changed. But God is always good. And in light of yesterday my first thought was surprisingly to be thankful it was the weekend because My Love was home to take him to the doctor for me. He just called from the doctore. Brother has a sinus infection, ear infection, and ruptured ear drum. He is never sick.
The Enemy keeps trying to shake our gratitude but we stand firm. We choose to trust our Sovereign Lord even in the disappointing because we know the very near future will include LOTS of disappointing moments. What will we do then?
More to come...
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
littles and olders
It has been a busy week. We have visiting friends staying with us for awhile. The Bundles are having fun playing with their age-appropriate playmates. The pairs have acquired the names "The Littles" and "The Olders" for the time being. There is something so comfortable about living in community with people you know and trust. We wish they could stay forever. Or buy a house down the street. Maybe some day. In the meantime, I have come to discover that the dish fairy does exist and lives in Florida most of the year. Our Brita pitcher is magically always at full capacity and the play room is tidy every night before bed. Of course we enjoy their company too. ;)
We had a fun New Year's Eve weekend with our friends here at the house playing games and eating appetizers with all four of us staying awake almost until midnight. Mr. S. is back at work again in the City and we hope to see his face once more before he has to return for the second half of his yearlong deployment. God knew my good friend would need the distraction of being here right now but the reality of the long road ahead for her and their two young children is heart aching for me to watch. We were thrilled that he was able to be home for his R&R at Christmas. The two bonus weeks he had tacked on to be in our area for his boss's time at home was a huge gift. J and the kids will be hanging with us for the next couple of weeks until M flies out. Please pray for their Little and Older as well as their brave Momma in the new year. Hurry home, M!
On a positive note, our time together as families has been precious and God has shown more than one answer to prayer this past week. He is working.
Needless to say I have wanted to write and am now only getting the chance (My Love has been home and off of work since Christmas) because I fell asleep shortly after the kids went to bed and am now wide awake. Perhaps this is my opportunity to post something. I have much to share. Stay tuned...
 |
| Little, Older, Older, Little |
We had a fun New Year's Eve weekend with our friends here at the house playing games and eating appetizers with all four of us staying awake almost until midnight. Mr. S. is back at work again in the City and we hope to see his face once more before he has to return for the second half of his yearlong deployment. God knew my good friend would need the distraction of being here right now but the reality of the long road ahead for her and their two young children is heart aching for me to watch. We were thrilled that he was able to be home for his R&R at Christmas. The two bonus weeks he had tacked on to be in our area for his boss's time at home was a huge gift. J and the kids will be hanging with us for the next couple of weeks until M flies out. Please pray for their Little and Older as well as their brave Momma in the new year. Hurry home, M!
On a positive note, our time together as families has been precious and God has shown more than one answer to prayer this past week. He is working.
Needless to say I have wanted to write and am now only getting the chance (My Love has been home and off of work since Christmas) because I fell asleep shortly after the kids went to bed and am now wide awake. Perhaps this is my opportunity to post something. I have much to share. Stay tuned...
Monday, January 2, 2012
this one is for me
Jeremiah 23:1-4 NLT
“What sorrow awaits the leaders of my people—the shepherds of my sheep—for they have destroyed and scattered the very ones they were expected to care for,” says the Lord. 2 Therefore, this is what the Lord, the God of Israel, says to these shepherds: “Instead of caring for my flock and leading them to safety, you have deserted them and driven them to destruction. Now I will pour out judgment on you for the evil you have done to them. 3 But I will gather together the remnant of my flock from the countries where I have driven them. I will bring them back to their own sheepfold, and they will be fruitful and increase in number. 4 Then I will appoint responsible shepherds who will care for them, and they will never be afraid again. Not a single one will be lost or missing. I, the Lord have spoken!
Sunday, January 1, 2012
chew on this
Colossians 3:17, 23 NLT
(17) And whatever you do or say, do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through him to God the Father.
(23) Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people.
Colossians 4: 2, 5, 6 NLT
(2) Devote yourselves to prayer with an alert mind and a thankful heart.
(5) Live wisely among those who are not believers, and make the most of every opportunity.
(6) Let your conversation be gracious and attractive so that you will have the right response for everyone.
(17) And whatever you do or say, do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through him to God the Father.
(2) Devote yourselves to prayer with an alert mind and a thankful heart.
(5) Live wisely among those who are not believers, and make the most of every opportunity.
(6) Let your conversation be gracious and attractive so that you will have the right response for everyone.
a year in review
A year ago this blog did not exist, but I did write down my goals and prayers for the future of 2011 over on my private family blog. I sit here in my new green chair alone in the quiet reflecting on how good our God is. He planted many of these things in my heart twelve months ago in preparation for all he would do last year. I had no idea what he had planned. Take a trip down memory lane with me and see the updates I added in red. Stay tuned for an "in the new year, 2012" post soon-ish. Enjoy! God is so good.
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Original post date: 31 December 2010
Alright. We are minutes from ringing in the new year out here on the east coast. We all had fun with some new friends tonight who came over to eat dessert and play games with us until their kids had had enough. Now it is time to get down to business. Many of the things on my list this year have been running through my mind a lot lately. I am confident they were placed there by God. I am excited to see Him make some changes in me during this new year. He has given me a glimpse into what my part in those changes will be, but I am looking forward to the unknown. 2011 will be unlike any other. So here we go.
* read through the Bible together again.
--We did this again...kind of. My Love and are on different days and months behind schedule, but we press on. We will finish our One Year Bible in God's perfect timing. In fact, it has been amazing to see God speak to me on daily readings "meant" for other days and yet amazingly perfect for that particular day in my life. His sovereignty is amazing.
* complete a Bible study with each of my sisters (starting with Justine)...surprise girls! I already talked about it with Bee and it got me thinking. With modern technology the way it is, there really isn't anything keeping us from studying God's Word together and chatting about it over Skype. I can't wait.
--There are not enough words to describe how this goal blessed my life. I was a little over zealous in thinking I could manage to do a Bible study with each of my sisters in one year. But the one I did with my youngest sister was life changing for us both. We read through "LORD, I Want to Know You" by Kay Arthur. Since we live on opposite coasts we read a couple chapters at a time and then Skyped during nap to discuss what we had learned. At first I didn't know what to expect but God showed up and blew my socks off. I was so blessed to have a front row seat from a country away in literally watching the Lord work in my sister's heart. After years of praying for her (alongside many others), I can say with confidence that she is firmly in her Father's hands. His love and grace overwhelm me. He NEVER gives up on us even when it seems like the rest of the world has. Sometimes it just takes us to slow down and be still long enough so we can hear his still small voice speaking directly to our hearts. Keep listening, sister. He has big plans for your life for his glory. I SO loved getting to KNOW the names of God with you in 2011. Our relationship as sisters is stronger and I am thankful for all you taught me during our time together every week. You remain in my prayers. I love you.
* read more books (at least one a month)...We got some new books for Christmas and have been filling our spare time together reading. I love it! With this one comes a reason to reevaluate what we do with idle time.
--I did read some amazing books this year but not as many as I wanted to. One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp transformed my life and perspective. Through the process of looking for and thanking God for his grace in my every day life, I experienced overwhelming joy in varying circumstances. God used this book to take my eyes off of me and wake me up to what is really important in this life: to know Him and to make him known. I also read The Fitting Room by Kelly Minter, Choosing Gratitude by Nancy Leigh DeMoss, and Decision Points by George W. Bush which were all great books. I've got a new stack on the bookshelf from Christmas gifts that will get me going in 2012.
* learn a new creative hobby that I can use to bless others
--Somehow this one escaped me again. I do enjoy being creative but perhaps God has other talents that need to be highlighted at this chapter of my life instead. I hope there is a future that includes blessing others with some new creative hobby.
* set aside a date night once a month...we thought back to this year and realized we had been on two dates all year. Now in our defense we were busy having a baby and caring for her immediate needs. But two dates? That is pretty sad. We both want to make that a bigger priority.
--Haha! This didn't go as planned either. We did really well at the beginning of 2011. We hired a friend's daughter in our neighborhood to babysit on a couple of occasions but with visiting family coming we discontinued that to wait for free childcare while they were in town. I am certain we went on more than two dates in 2011 (probably more like six) but our goal of once a month was not fully realized. Now that the kids are a little older I can see this becoming easier in the future.
* boldness!
--I am not sure how to respond to this one. God did light a fire of boldness in me this year. In conversations with friends I would often ask probing questions trying to deepen our fellowship and create opportunities for prayer and accountability. I spoke more openly in public using the name of Jesus in my every day conversations with people. I challenged many to open up and pray for loved ones and to be open to however God might want to use them in this moment. Yes, I will say boldness was definitely the word of the year in more ways than one. It is likely that some chose to stay at a distance from me because my passion for God this year made them evaluate their own relationships with him. It is not my job to keep the peace and make people feel comfortable. It is my job to please God and bring him glory. Boldness. Yes, I think I will choose to take that into the near year as well. And if you have known me in the past, then you know it is only by God's strength that boldness could ever be used to describe a year in my life. A bit of a former wall flower in social gatherings, God has done a big work in me to be able to use me for his purpose. Isn't it usually in the opposite way than we think we can be used? I find the stuff we are weak in is exactly what he wants to use to highlight his strength. So if boldness was the theme of 2011, to God be the glory. Because everything inside me knows that didn't used to come naturally.
* have friends and family come visit us. ;)
--Oh boy did this happen. With all the craziness that came with moving at year's end, I had almost forgotten how many loved ones we were blessed to see this year. All of our parents, two sisters, a niece, and several out of state friends. We had an amazing year of site seeing and making memories with many who we know and love. Thank you to everyone who came to stay with us in our home. We loved having you and hope to see more of you in the new year.
* strengthen our close friendships here in Virginia
-- Yes this happened too. As we started praying for the needs of our close friends here, we saw our relationship with them strengthen. This has not always come naturally to me in the past either. I know God wanted me to make deeper connections with friends this past year and that required me to invest in them and to open myself up to being vulnerable. I know God used our time there at our old home to bring together several families that weren't plugged into any real group of friends at our church. We became a family away from each of our own extended relatives and enjoyed many holidays making memories together. We miss them all terribly but are lucky to still be close enough to see each other from time to time. I have been SO blessed to see God work in their lives and know we will be close for many years to come even though we now live further away.
* make ourselves available to be used for God's glory in our church.
--Well. I'm not sure this was clearly realized in a way I can put in words but I KNOW God used us there. Some things we just won't be told until we get to heaven.
* see complete restoration (and healing) of fractured relationships in my extended family
--God has been working. He did some amazing work in 2010 but unfortunately there is still more healing to be done. The first step will be forgiveness. We continue to shower many in prayer. Life is too short to make it about us, people.
* see family and loved ones return to (or accept) a relationship with God
--I know this happened in multiple people. We continue to pray for the salvation and restoration of many who we love and some we have never met. I really believe God listens to our prayers for the lost and keeps tending to the soil until the perfect time when the Holy Spirit opens their eyes to all he has done. We pray and pray for that day to be soon for so many.
* see complete physical healing of a young "extended family member"
--A year ago a sort of extended family member (by marriage) was diagnosed with neuroblastoma. We prayed for his life and health and family and for God to get the glory through every part of the journey. I think he was eight. He had surgery. He did two rounds of chemotherapy. The tumor stopped growing and he is currently doing well. We praise God and continue to pray for this whole situation as we ask Him for complete healing. None of this is surprising to God.
* witness the miracle of life given to those who I know long to be parents (through pregnancy/adoption)
--WOW! This sentence gives me chills now in light of the future before us. We have been overwhelmed by God's love this year as we prayed with our dear friends who became the forever family of two children from Ethiopia. We were present at the airport when they arrived home. We have watched them grow and settle into a life that was chosen by God just for them. It has been amazing. We continue to pray for this family in the new year as they move forward with the adoption of another child. God places the lonely in families, people. We remain in prayer for more loved ones who we trust WILL be parents in His timing.
* keep my family safe and healthy in the year ahead
--I think I put this one in at the end for good measure. Good health and safety is something we take for granted. We should place even that in the Lord's hands to do with as he pleases. We praise God for two healthy children and acknowledge that he is the reason for our safe keeping. Thank you Good Shepherd.
Thank you Lord for already knowing the outcomes to all these personal goals and ongoing prayer requests. Mold me and shape me to be your instrument in 2011.
Amen!
------------------------
To be continued...
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Original post date: 31 December 2010
Alright. We are minutes from ringing in the new year out here on the east coast. We all had fun with some new friends tonight who came over to eat dessert and play games with us until their kids had had enough. Now it is time to get down to business. Many of the things on my list this year have been running through my mind a lot lately. I am confident they were placed there by God. I am excited to see Him make some changes in me during this new year. He has given me a glimpse into what my part in those changes will be, but I am looking forward to the unknown. 2011 will be unlike any other. So here we go.
* read through the Bible together again.
--We did this again...kind of. My Love and are on different days and months behind schedule, but we press on. We will finish our One Year Bible in God's perfect timing. In fact, it has been amazing to see God speak to me on daily readings "meant" for other days and yet amazingly perfect for that particular day in my life. His sovereignty is amazing.
* complete a Bible study with each of my sisters (starting with Justine)...surprise girls! I already talked about it with Bee and it got me thinking. With modern technology the way it is, there really isn't anything keeping us from studying God's Word together and chatting about it over Skype. I can't wait.
--There are not enough words to describe how this goal blessed my life. I was a little over zealous in thinking I could manage to do a Bible study with each of my sisters in one year. But the one I did with my youngest sister was life changing for us both. We read through "LORD, I Want to Know You" by Kay Arthur. Since we live on opposite coasts we read a couple chapters at a time and then Skyped during nap to discuss what we had learned. At first I didn't know what to expect but God showed up and blew my socks off. I was so blessed to have a front row seat from a country away in literally watching the Lord work in my sister's heart. After years of praying for her (alongside many others), I can say with confidence that she is firmly in her Father's hands. His love and grace overwhelm me. He NEVER gives up on us even when it seems like the rest of the world has. Sometimes it just takes us to slow down and be still long enough so we can hear his still small voice speaking directly to our hearts. Keep listening, sister. He has big plans for your life for his glory. I SO loved getting to KNOW the names of God with you in 2011. Our relationship as sisters is stronger and I am thankful for all you taught me during our time together every week. You remain in my prayers. I love you.
* read more books (at least one a month)...We got some new books for Christmas and have been filling our spare time together reading. I love it! With this one comes a reason to reevaluate what we do with idle time.
--I did read some amazing books this year but not as many as I wanted to. One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp transformed my life and perspective. Through the process of looking for and thanking God for his grace in my every day life, I experienced overwhelming joy in varying circumstances. God used this book to take my eyes off of me and wake me up to what is really important in this life: to know Him and to make him known. I also read The Fitting Room by Kelly Minter, Choosing Gratitude by Nancy Leigh DeMoss, and Decision Points by George W. Bush which were all great books. I've got a new stack on the bookshelf from Christmas gifts that will get me going in 2012.
* learn a new creative hobby that I can use to bless others
--Somehow this one escaped me again. I do enjoy being creative but perhaps God has other talents that need to be highlighted at this chapter of my life instead. I hope there is a future that includes blessing others with some new creative hobby.
* set aside a date night once a month...we thought back to this year and realized we had been on two dates all year. Now in our defense we were busy having a baby and caring for her immediate needs. But two dates? That is pretty sad. We both want to make that a bigger priority.
--Haha! This didn't go as planned either. We did really well at the beginning of 2011. We hired a friend's daughter in our neighborhood to babysit on a couple of occasions but with visiting family coming we discontinued that to wait for free childcare while they were in town. I am certain we went on more than two dates in 2011 (probably more like six) but our goal of once a month was not fully realized. Now that the kids are a little older I can see this becoming easier in the future.
* boldness!
--I am not sure how to respond to this one. God did light a fire of boldness in me this year. In conversations with friends I would often ask probing questions trying to deepen our fellowship and create opportunities for prayer and accountability. I spoke more openly in public using the name of Jesus in my every day conversations with people. I challenged many to open up and pray for loved ones and to be open to however God might want to use them in this moment. Yes, I will say boldness was definitely the word of the year in more ways than one. It is likely that some chose to stay at a distance from me because my passion for God this year made them evaluate their own relationships with him. It is not my job to keep the peace and make people feel comfortable. It is my job to please God and bring him glory. Boldness. Yes, I think I will choose to take that into the near year as well. And if you have known me in the past, then you know it is only by God's strength that boldness could ever be used to describe a year in my life. A bit of a former wall flower in social gatherings, God has done a big work in me to be able to use me for his purpose. Isn't it usually in the opposite way than we think we can be used? I find the stuff we are weak in is exactly what he wants to use to highlight his strength. So if boldness was the theme of 2011, to God be the glory. Because everything inside me knows that didn't used to come naturally.
* have friends and family come visit us. ;)
--Oh boy did this happen. With all the craziness that came with moving at year's end, I had almost forgotten how many loved ones we were blessed to see this year. All of our parents, two sisters, a niece, and several out of state friends. We had an amazing year of site seeing and making memories with many who we know and love. Thank you to everyone who came to stay with us in our home. We loved having you and hope to see more of you in the new year.
* strengthen our close friendships here in Virginia
-- Yes this happened too. As we started praying for the needs of our close friends here, we saw our relationship with them strengthen. This has not always come naturally to me in the past either. I know God wanted me to make deeper connections with friends this past year and that required me to invest in them and to open myself up to being vulnerable. I know God used our time there at our old home to bring together several families that weren't plugged into any real group of friends at our church. We became a family away from each of our own extended relatives and enjoyed many holidays making memories together. We miss them all terribly but are lucky to still be close enough to see each other from time to time. I have been SO blessed to see God work in their lives and know we will be close for many years to come even though we now live further away.
* make ourselves available to be used for God's glory in our church.
--Well. I'm not sure this was clearly realized in a way I can put in words but I KNOW God used us there. Some things we just won't be told until we get to heaven.
* see complete restoration (and healing) of fractured relationships in my extended family
--God has been working. He did some amazing work in 2010 but unfortunately there is still more healing to be done. The first step will be forgiveness. We continue to shower many in prayer. Life is too short to make it about us, people.
* see family and loved ones return to (or accept) a relationship with God
--I know this happened in multiple people. We continue to pray for the salvation and restoration of many who we love and some we have never met. I really believe God listens to our prayers for the lost and keeps tending to the soil until the perfect time when the Holy Spirit opens their eyes to all he has done. We pray and pray for that day to be soon for so many.
* see complete physical healing of a young "extended family member"
--A year ago a sort of extended family member (by marriage) was diagnosed with neuroblastoma. We prayed for his life and health and family and for God to get the glory through every part of the journey. I think he was eight. He had surgery. He did two rounds of chemotherapy. The tumor stopped growing and he is currently doing well. We praise God and continue to pray for this whole situation as we ask Him for complete healing. None of this is surprising to God.
* witness the miracle of life given to those who I know long to be parents (through pregnancy/adoption)
--WOW! This sentence gives me chills now in light of the future before us. We have been overwhelmed by God's love this year as we prayed with our dear friends who became the forever family of two children from Ethiopia. We were present at the airport when they arrived home. We have watched them grow and settle into a life that was chosen by God just for them. It has been amazing. We continue to pray for this family in the new year as they move forward with the adoption of another child. God places the lonely in families, people. We remain in prayer for more loved ones who we trust WILL be parents in His timing.
* keep my family safe and healthy in the year ahead
--I think I put this one in at the end for good measure. Good health and safety is something we take for granted. We should place even that in the Lord's hands to do with as he pleases. We praise God for two healthy children and acknowledge that he is the reason for our safe keeping. Thank you Good Shepherd.
Thank you Lord for already knowing the outcomes to all these personal goals and ongoing prayer requests. Mold me and shape me to be your instrument in 2011.
Amen!
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To be continued...
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