Tonight I am thankful for the stench that is lingering throughout our main living space. If Babydoll hadn't pooped her panties moments before walking out the door to drive to the library in the rain after dinner while My Love is away, we would have made it there to find it closes early on Wednesday. The fun interruption caused me to pause and think about a conversation I had with a friend earlier today about their unpredictable closing hours. After all was cleaned up, I checked online and it was indeed already closed.
Tonight I am thankful for poop.
What about you?
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
the courts, class two
Last night was class two for our training to become foster parents. I continue to be amazed by how God is preparing us for something big. I am learning a lot and am equally overwhelmed and excited by how vastly our lives will change.
Like I said before, there are all different reasons people have decided to be apart of this class with us. Some are empty nesters, single women, married without children, and some have very specific situations they are pursuing (ie. fostering to adopt a niece). People ask great questions from their own perspective and it is really helpful for focusing our minds on what God has called us to in the journey ahead.
Last night we learned about the court system.
Sigh.
There is a lot going on there. I honestly wonder if social workers ever sleep. I am thankful that their caseload is lower than several years ago. It really seems like our county does a great job trying to prevent kids from entering the system in the first place. They also stick to a timeline of how long a child can stay in foster care. That is comforting. Unfortunately I was the kid asking all the number questions. They don't want to give numbers. Numbers vary and really every case is different. Knowing the numbers helps with expectations though. Sitting in a room with many other excited families (and 75 other approved foster homes in the county), how often do kids enter the system? Someone had to ask. If most kids in our county return to birth parents OR are eventually placed with relatives (which is the more likely of the two) it will help our mental preparation process. So I ask how many kids become adoptable. I hear a general agreement across the room as the answer was given. Numbers help.
By week two, I can see my mindset shifting to something more practical. But how does one train their heart? It will be helpful to focus on how God will use us, our home, and our family to provide a safe, loving place for a child to come and stay for however long he ordains. Adoption may never be an option for the growth of our family but there will always be children living here. Even if the child lives with us for a year. Eighteen months. Our minds and hearts need to be set on whatever God has laid before us. It will be helpful to our current children too. We can't be expecting forever with each placement.
I am thankful that the government can not so easily dissolve a person's parental rights. I am thankful that a timeline is in place here to prevent that process from dragging out too long. I am thankful that they look under every rock and behind every tree trying to find a relative who will take the child before they become adoptable. A child will always want their family no matter how terrible they have been treated. 80% of foster children here enter the system due to abuse or neglect. It wrenches my heart, but I am thankful that in some cases children can be reunited with birth relatives. My heart ache is the least of the pain in this process.
So we are learning how to love. Love like Christ loves the church. To love without conditions, expectations. And although this bodes well to the strengthening of a marriage and family, it also proves fruitful to prepare us for the road ahead. There will be love showered on broken children. There will be joy found in God's graces. There will be laughter and smiles. There will be miracles. And that might just have to be enough.
Our application is complete. We are ready to schedule a home study. Things are moving forward and I am excited to see what comes next in the process.
Like I said before, there are all different reasons people have decided to be apart of this class with us. Some are empty nesters, single women, married without children, and some have very specific situations they are pursuing (ie. fostering to adopt a niece). People ask great questions from their own perspective and it is really helpful for focusing our minds on what God has called us to in the journey ahead.
Last night we learned about the court system.
Sigh.
There is a lot going on there. I honestly wonder if social workers ever sleep. I am thankful that their caseload is lower than several years ago. It really seems like our county does a great job trying to prevent kids from entering the system in the first place. They also stick to a timeline of how long a child can stay in foster care. That is comforting. Unfortunately I was the kid asking all the number questions. They don't want to give numbers. Numbers vary and really every case is different. Knowing the numbers helps with expectations though. Sitting in a room with many other excited families (and 75 other approved foster homes in the county), how often do kids enter the system? Someone had to ask. If most kids in our county return to birth parents OR are eventually placed with relatives (which is the more likely of the two) it will help our mental preparation process. So I ask how many kids become adoptable. I hear a general agreement across the room as the answer was given. Numbers help.
By week two, I can see my mindset shifting to something more practical. But how does one train their heart? It will be helpful to focus on how God will use us, our home, and our family to provide a safe, loving place for a child to come and stay for however long he ordains. Adoption may never be an option for the growth of our family but there will always be children living here. Even if the child lives with us for a year. Eighteen months. Our minds and hearts need to be set on whatever God has laid before us. It will be helpful to our current children too. We can't be expecting forever with each placement.
I am thankful that the government can not so easily dissolve a person's parental rights. I am thankful that a timeline is in place here to prevent that process from dragging out too long. I am thankful that they look under every rock and behind every tree trying to find a relative who will take the child before they become adoptable. A child will always want their family no matter how terrible they have been treated. 80% of foster children here enter the system due to abuse or neglect. It wrenches my heart, but I am thankful that in some cases children can be reunited with birth relatives. My heart ache is the least of the pain in this process.
So we are learning how to love. Love like Christ loves the church. To love without conditions, expectations. And although this bodes well to the strengthening of a marriage and family, it also proves fruitful to prepare us for the road ahead. There will be love showered on broken children. There will be joy found in God's graces. There will be laughter and smiles. There will be miracles. And that might just have to be enough.
Our application is complete. We are ready to schedule a home study. Things are moving forward and I am excited to see what comes next in the process.
Monday, February 27, 2012
feel that touch
Seek sometimes not even to hear Me. Seek a silence of spirit-understanding with Me. Be not afraid. All is well. Dwell much on what I did, as well as what I said.
Remember, I "touched her hand, and the fever left her." Not many words, just a moment's contact, and all fever left her. She was well, whole, calm, able to arise and "minister unto them." My touch is still a potent healer. Just feel that touch. Sense My Presence, and the fever of work and care and fear just melts into nothingness--and health, joy, peace, take its peace.
-The Two Listeners, God Calling
Remember, I "touched her hand, and the fever left her." Not many words, just a moment's contact, and all fever left her. She was well, whole, calm, able to arise and "minister unto them." My touch is still a potent healer. Just feel that touch. Sense My Presence, and the fever of work and care and fear just melts into nothingness--and health, joy, peace, take its peace.
-The Two Listeners, God Calling
Saturday, February 25, 2012
moving forward
Thank you for your prayers.
I have been writing and talking to people about how Babydoll has been doing so much that I forgot that I haven't updated the blog yet. Maybe my repetition with loved ones will allow for a concise explanation for you here.
We saw Sissy's pediatrician on Friday afternoon. Because she is not sick and there was no infection to cause a fever, he believes that the vaccines she got a week before were the cause. Not of the seizure, just the cause of the fever. Don't get me started on how frustrated I am about all of that. Really.
In a nutshell, febrile seizures are benign and are not uncommon in children up to age five. Studies show that kids who have them can grow up to live normal healthy lives with no problems with intelligence. They are triggered by either an extremely high fever or a sudden rise in fever. This last time her fever only read 100.5 whereas the first time three hours after Motrin it read 102.5. (note: We have a working thermometer now.) Sometimes you don't even know they have a fever until a seizure starts. Her doctor can not tell us "she will always have seizures with fever" or "she will never have one again". Obviously it was concerning that she had two so close together in time but not terribly alarming from their perspective. There are things that would be cause for concern though. Like more than one in a 24 hour period, a seizure lasting for an hour, etc. We are not in that arena. Her Dr. said often times children with epilepsy will show other signs (like with development) that their brains have been affected. Babydoll is very smart and is learning and growing quickly. All that to say, he still wants us to take her to the ER if it were to happen again and said she will probably need a full neurological work up after the third seizure to rule out anything else. Um...this is not uncommon BUT be concerned if it happens ONE more time? I think we need a new pediatrician.
There is so much more I could share but really it is better I don't vent in this forum. The bottom line is Babydoll is doing well and we have been advised to aggressively treat fevers with Motrin/Tylenol at the first sign with the goal being preventing a sudden spike at all. That can be easier said than done though as we read sometimes the seizure is the first evidence of the presence of a fever at all.
Many people have expressed concern and while I will admit we were anxious while she had a fever of any temperature this last time we choose not to continue thinking about it while she is well. We know people are praying. They are praying for us and with us and the Lord hears those prayers. We are feeling them. We KNOW our God IS Jehovah Rapha, the Lord who Heals, and we trust he can see the big picture. As I was reminded recently, he designed the whole picture.
She is safe in His arms.
I have been writing and talking to people about how Babydoll has been doing so much that I forgot that I haven't updated the blog yet. Maybe my repetition with loved ones will allow for a concise explanation for you here.
We saw Sissy's pediatrician on Friday afternoon. Because she is not sick and there was no infection to cause a fever, he believes that the vaccines she got a week before were the cause. Not of the seizure, just the cause of the fever. Don't get me started on how frustrated I am about all of that. Really.
In a nutshell, febrile seizures are benign and are not uncommon in children up to age five. Studies show that kids who have them can grow up to live normal healthy lives with no problems with intelligence. They are triggered by either an extremely high fever or a sudden rise in fever. This last time her fever only read 100.5 whereas the first time three hours after Motrin it read 102.5. (note: We have a working thermometer now.) Sometimes you don't even know they have a fever until a seizure starts. Her doctor can not tell us "she will always have seizures with fever" or "she will never have one again". Obviously it was concerning that she had two so close together in time but not terribly alarming from their perspective. There are things that would be cause for concern though. Like more than one in a 24 hour period, a seizure lasting for an hour, etc. We are not in that arena. Her Dr. said often times children with epilepsy will show other signs (like with development) that their brains have been affected. Babydoll is very smart and is learning and growing quickly. All that to say, he still wants us to take her to the ER if it were to happen again and said she will probably need a full neurological work up after the third seizure to rule out anything else. Um...this is not uncommon BUT be concerned if it happens ONE more time? I think we need a new pediatrician.
There is so much more I could share but really it is better I don't vent in this forum. The bottom line is Babydoll is doing well and we have been advised to aggressively treat fevers with Motrin/Tylenol at the first sign with the goal being preventing a sudden spike at all. That can be easier said than done though as we read sometimes the seizure is the first evidence of the presence of a fever at all.
Many people have expressed concern and while I will admit we were anxious while she had a fever of any temperature this last time we choose not to continue thinking about it while she is well. We know people are praying. They are praying for us and with us and the Lord hears those prayers. We are feeling them. We KNOW our God IS Jehovah Rapha, the Lord who Heals, and we trust he can see the big picture. As I was reminded recently, he designed the whole picture.
She is safe in His arms.
Friday, February 24, 2012
Thursday, February 23, 2012
not in the 80%
It was my turn to take the night shift.
I was woken up at 1am by the same yelp sound I heard just seventeen days ago. We were both calmer this time. I heard her jolting in her bed from down the hall and immediately woke up My Love before even turning down the covers. We went to her crib side. This time she was on her back rather than her side and her eyes were noticeably open. We were not in a panic. Dare I say peaceful? Once the seizure ended My Love wiped away the spit bubbles from her lips and she lie there limp with eyes closed now. I brushed my teeth and then My Love helped get our Babydoll dressed in something cooler. She was burning up. And yet we still hadn't replaced the batteries in our thermometer. When she gained consciousness/awareness, she cried and I gave her Motrin. There were no cold symptoms in the days leading up to this episode. Suddenly we realized she was not in the 80% of children who have had a febrile seizure and only experience one. At her follow up appointment two weeks ago with her pediatrician, he told us to take her to the ER again the next time it happened. Honestly I hoped that it wouldn't. This time they only took her blood which took three needle sticks to retrieve. Other than a slight pink color in her ear, there was no other infection.
Babydoll's fever lowered. They released her and I got home just in time for My Love who was dressed in a suit to leave for work so he could drive three hours to give a very important briefing.
Pray for our sweet Babydoll. She has been a trooper but her patience had been pushed to her limit. We are beginning to wonder if this is something we will always have to worry about with fevers. At this point, I just want to learn how to handle it in the future because middle-of-the-night ER visits with no present infection is tiring all around.
God is good! Even outside of the 80%.
I was woken up at 1am by the same yelp sound I heard just seventeen days ago. We were both calmer this time. I heard her jolting in her bed from down the hall and immediately woke up My Love before even turning down the covers. We went to her crib side. This time she was on her back rather than her side and her eyes were noticeably open. We were not in a panic. Dare I say peaceful? Once the seizure ended My Love wiped away the spit bubbles from her lips and she lie there limp with eyes closed now. I brushed my teeth and then My Love helped get our Babydoll dressed in something cooler. She was burning up. And yet we still hadn't replaced the batteries in our thermometer. When she gained consciousness/awareness, she cried and I gave her Motrin. There were no cold symptoms in the days leading up to this episode. Suddenly we realized she was not in the 80% of children who have had a febrile seizure and only experience one. At her follow up appointment two weeks ago with her pediatrician, he told us to take her to the ER again the next time it happened. Honestly I hoped that it wouldn't. This time they only took her blood which took three needle sticks to retrieve. Other than a slight pink color in her ear, there was no other infection.
Babydoll's fever lowered. They released her and I got home just in time for My Love who was dressed in a suit to leave for work so he could drive three hours to give a very important briefing.
Pray for our sweet Babydoll. She has been a trooper but her patience had been pushed to her limit. We are beginning to wonder if this is something we will always have to worry about with fevers. At this point, I just want to learn how to handle it in the future because middle-of-the-night ER visits with no present infection is tiring all around.
God is good! Even outside of the 80%.
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
class one
God is good!
First off let me say that our first training class to becomefoster resource parents went great.
OK now let me back up.
Before moving to our new home, our amazing friend M mentioned several times that her friend was a children's minister at a Baptist church in the area we would be relocating too. I met her friend and their family atone two of M's children's birthday parties and knew of their story. She and her husband adopted a sibling group of three from Ethiopia and their oldest boy was best friends with M's adopted son from Ethiopia. That is right, people. God moved these children from the same orphanage where they were best friends in the same small town in an African country to the same area in the USA. Isn't he amazing? Needless to say, I have heard several stories about this family over the past year. We decided to visit another church once moving here which quickly became our church home so we never had a chance to visit the church M's friend goes to.
Her name came up again once we started this journey. M mentioned that her friend had a great working relationship with the social services in our county and did many workshops through their church to encourage foster parenting and adoption within their church body. Since I was already in touch with her friend's contact on my own I didn't make any connections.
Fast forward.
Are you lost yet?
God moves fast.
Of the two dozen people who were in attendance last night, HALF of them (I'm talking six families) came from M's friend's church. Seriously. Once the first couple mentioned it, couple after couple openly repeated that they went to that church. That is right, people. Over the next couple of months we will be growing a support system with other Christian families. I wanted to cry right there.
The dynamics of the group were surprising. Four families were empty-nesters. Two couples were young with no children. A few mentioned previously adopting. Some were current foster parents. And one guy (and his wife who was not present) had adopted a sibling set in California four years again when they recently got a phone call saying the birth mother of their children had another child and asked if they wanted it. He was going through the process in our state to foster that baby until they could adopt it so their children could be with their sibling. There were several single woman. Some who only wanted to foster teenagers.
It was eye-opening. It seems God calls all kinds of people to do all kinds of thing for his glory.
The class was very informative in a helpful and overwhelming kind of way. We both came away from the first class even more excited about the journey ahead and open to whatever God has in store for us.
We were able to turn in our application last night. The instructor said she will be able to start processing paperwork within the week. Finger prints are next week. Then soon will be the home study (which we heard--from others who have gone through the process elsewhere--was super invasive but learned yesterday might actually be harmless). When that is completed, we should be able to qualify to receive a placement call BEFORE the end of our training. That would be interesting. I guess technically we could bring a lap child (with approval) on our family vacation to see relatives...
We learned some helpful statistics last night that will help direct our prayers for what God might be preparing for us. There are more foster homes in our county than there are children who need homes (which is a good thing!). The average length of stay is 12 months. The percentage of kids in the age range we were hoping for is very low, like 2%. God might have other plans for us. We will just have to wait and see.
I will admit I was getting anxious about leaving the kids yesterday afternoon for the training class. Brother actually cried after nap not wanting me to leave him. That is SO not his temperament. I bribed him with left over peanut butter cake to eat with my friend (who ended up bringing her daughter) and he quickly got over his tears in a jiffy. Maybe he was still waking up? In any case I needed him to be strong for his sister because I was more worried about leaving Babydoll. We have gone out before but it has usually been after putting her down to bed. I am not sure a sitter has ever put her to bed. I gave Brother the one responsibility of singing her night-night song to her. He obliged. I have no idea why I was so anxious about it. I totally trust my friend. I guess I just didn't want my Bundles to give her a hard time. Breathe. Of course everything went fine.
Well God was faithful to send texts from THREE of my favorite J friends in the hour before my class. I felt their prayers and appreciated their encouragement. Thanks girls of California, Tennessee and Florida. You are gifts in my life! Not to mention the sweet card I got in the mailbox from one of those J's just before my friend arrived to watch the kids. And the drawing and letter from our sponsored child in Nicaragua that came in the same pile of mail.
God is more than enough, people.
One class down, seven more to go! We are doing this.
First off let me say that our first training class to become
OK now let me back up.
Before moving to our new home, our amazing friend M mentioned several times that her friend was a children's minister at a Baptist church in the area we would be relocating too. I met her friend and their family at
Her name came up again once we started this journey. M mentioned that her friend had a great working relationship with the social services in our county and did many workshops through their church to encourage foster parenting and adoption within their church body. Since I was already in touch with her friend's contact on my own I didn't make any connections.
Fast forward.
Are you lost yet?
God moves fast.
Of the two dozen people who were in attendance last night, HALF of them (I'm talking six families) came from M's friend's church. Seriously. Once the first couple mentioned it, couple after couple openly repeated that they went to that church. That is right, people. Over the next couple of months we will be growing a support system with other Christian families. I wanted to cry right there.
The dynamics of the group were surprising. Four families were empty-nesters. Two couples were young with no children. A few mentioned previously adopting. Some were current foster parents. And one guy (and his wife who was not present) had adopted a sibling set in California four years again when they recently got a phone call saying the birth mother of their children had another child and asked if they wanted it. He was going through the process in our state to foster that baby until they could adopt it so their children could be with their sibling. There were several single woman. Some who only wanted to foster teenagers.
It was eye-opening. It seems God calls all kinds of people to do all kinds of thing for his glory.
The class was very informative in a helpful and overwhelming kind of way. We both came away from the first class even more excited about the journey ahead and open to whatever God has in store for us.
We were able to turn in our application last night. The instructor said she will be able to start processing paperwork within the week. Finger prints are next week. Then soon will be the home study (which we heard--from others who have gone through the process elsewhere--was super invasive but learned yesterday might actually be harmless). When that is completed, we should be able to qualify to receive a placement call BEFORE the end of our training. That would be interesting. I guess technically we could bring a lap child (with approval) on our family vacation to see relatives...
We learned some helpful statistics last night that will help direct our prayers for what God might be preparing for us. There are more foster homes in our county than there are children who need homes (which is a good thing!). The average length of stay is 12 months. The percentage of kids in the age range we were hoping for is very low, like 2%. God might have other plans for us. We will just have to wait and see.
I will admit I was getting anxious about leaving the kids yesterday afternoon for the training class. Brother actually cried after nap not wanting me to leave him. That is SO not his temperament. I bribed him with left over peanut butter cake to eat with my friend (who ended up bringing her daughter) and he quickly got over his tears in a jiffy. Maybe he was still waking up? In any case I needed him to be strong for his sister because I was more worried about leaving Babydoll. We have gone out before but it has usually been after putting her down to bed. I am not sure a sitter has ever put her to bed. I gave Brother the one responsibility of singing her night-night song to her. He obliged. I have no idea why I was so anxious about it. I totally trust my friend. I guess I just didn't want my Bundles to give her a hard time. Breathe. Of course everything went fine.
Well God was faithful to send texts from THREE of my favorite J friends in the hour before my class. I felt their prayers and appreciated their encouragement. Thanks girls of California, Tennessee and Florida. You are gifts in my life! Not to mention the sweet card I got in the mailbox from one of those J's just before my friend arrived to watch the kids. And the drawing and letter from our sponsored child in Nicaragua that came in the same pile of mail.
God is more than enough, people.
One class down, seven more to go! We are doing this.
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